The Chicken Fairy Won't Let Me Be

(Original photo stolen from this site)

RING RING

Me: Hello?

Mom: Hi, it's me again -- I forgot to tell you, your dad wants to give you a mean hen.

Me: Really. [Not surprised in the least] Of course he does. Why on earth would I want a mean hen?

Mom: Well, she picks on the pullets, and your dad can't stop her.

Me, Failing To See The Logic: Well, we have three pullets, too -- what makes him think she won't pick on THEM?

Mom: Because she'll be "the new one." [Several puns flood my brain, involving pecking order and the new chick on the block, but don't let me sidetrack you]

Me: Oh, okay, but she picks on MY pullets, I suggest we make her in to a hamburger.

Mom: Right.

Me: Hey, Chas backwashed the pool and I shock-treated it, but --

DING DONG! DING-DONG-DING-DONG DING DONG!

Mom, over her shoulder: Oh, all right, just a minute! To me: Your father is ready to go.

Me: Lemme guess -- he's bringing the chicken RIGHT NOW, right?

Mom: Yeah.

Me: Of course.

Sigh. My father is the Chicken Fairy and I have a lifetime membership in his night terrors.

Comments

[justin bieber shoes]

Very, very nicely done!

[foolery]

You have proven your original assertion: the comments are the best part of any Fooleryland post. Thanks, Ricks Cafe -- pass the butter.  ; )

[Rick's Cafe]

I was thinking that the best part of a new Foolery post are the comments, but then the comments couldn't exist without the post - which of course can stand on it's own without any help. *sigh* it appears I'm chasing my tail here and need to quit -before I turn into butter.
But I've gots to ask - With times being tough and chicken going for $.98/pound while hamburger is $2.29/pound - would you please send me the receipe on how to turn chicken into hamburger?!

[Audubon Ron]

That's funny.

[foolery]

CBW, just finished cleaning up from a dinner party and I found an e-mail from The Chicken Fairys Wife (some call her Grandma, others call her Mom) which I will post Friday, after much coffee and grumbling. The story just gets better.  : )

Thanks so much for reading and commenting -- it really makes my day!

Laurie

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Just be thankful it's not the Goose Fairy, otherwise it's a sure sign you've landed in hell.

I just love the stories involving your father. He's been a character in just about all of my favorite Foolery episodes. More!

[foolery]

You may be onto something, Gramps. Ill bring you a chicken next week. Want the mean one or the hermaphrodite?

[gramps]

YES, YOU INHERITED IT, DIDN'T YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[foolery]

The Justice Fairy is Ruth Bader-Ginsberg and shes had her hands full. Also, I think shes allergic to chickens and steers well clear of the likes of us.

Oh, and we showed LOTS of mercy regarding your shoe story, Mantel Man. More than you deserved.  ; )

[Mantel Man]

I never thought of our father as any kind of fairy, but you may be onto something.

And your story is disturbingly reminiscent of my description of the old shoes in my closet, for which I was teased mercilessly. Where's the Justice Fairy?

[foolery]

Well, if theres a ruckus around the chicken coop at dusk, it could be a fox or coyote, so I guess its wise to call first. Some farmers daughters shoot first and ask questions later (not this one, though)!

[Daryl]

I just love that she called to give you notice he was comin' ... I suggest if she picks on the pullets, make chicken fingers out of her!