For the original Chicken Fairy story click over to my other blog, Reasonably Educated Bumpkins. Don't miss it; it's one of my favorites. But then, can you really trust me?
About a week ago my father, The Chicken Fairy, announced that one of his seven pullets (teenage hens) was probably a rooster. "You want it?" he asked.
"No thanks," I answered, leaving no wiggle room.
"Why?" he asked. "Those roosters are beautiful birds. You should want one; they're interesting to watch. He'll make his first crow in about two months, only it won't sound like a crow. It'll sound squeaky until he learns how, this fall."
"As tempting as you make that sound, Dad, he's not a chicken, he's a chicken liability," I answered. "He won't lay any eggs, but he'll be another mouth to feed. He'll crow in the middle of the night, he could be mean to kittens and people, and it'll be that much more chicken crap on the sidewalk. No rooster -- no thanks!"
I was very clear. Still, I didn't bat an eye when I got the news last night.
"Mama, Grandpa gave you his rooster for your birthday!"
"He did, did he?"
"Yeah, and Grandpa put the rooster in with McGillicuddy and Li'l Supper [I don't know their real names but these are my go-to names for chickens] until they get old enough to run free."
"Super." *sigh* So now I have a rooster. Happy birthday to me.
Later, as I was putting away the birthday cake, Chas approached me conspiratorially. "Listen," he said, leaning in. "When you tell any of your friends in the blogosphere that you got a small cock for your birthday, I hope you'll articulate exactly what that means." *Chuckle, chuckle*
Blink.
Blink.
"You do know this is going in the blog, don't you?"
"I am suddenly aware of that, yes."
Nothing city about that question, Gramps -- probably this winter. Not entirely sure, though, because I havent had a rooster around for years!
Posted by: foolery | July 14, 2011 at 11:56 AM
Being a city-boy through and through, my first thought is "When will the rooster start chasing the ladies around the hen house?????????
Posted by: gramps | July 14, 2011 at 10:56 AM
Thanks, Daryl -- me too. : )
Posted by: foolery | July 13, 2011 at 07:47 AM
Debbie, Grandpa (my dad) drove ME crazy as a child. If I drove him as well he deserves every bit of it. All his fault. And I said IF I drove him crazy. IF. ; )
Thanks for reading!
Posted by: foolery | July 13, 2011 at 07:46 AM
GAH I love BillyBob ..
Posted by: Daryl | July 13, 2011 at 07:14 AM
Chas knows you too well! This is hilarious and now you have a rooster. Did you drive your Grandpa crazy as a child? Is this pay back? LOL LOL LOL
Posted by: Debbie | July 13, 2011 at 06:12 AM
Oh, Frances, how I love thee. And also? When that bad boy starts crowing, The Chicken Fairy may just transport him to under YOUR pillow. : )
Posted by: foolery | July 12, 2011 at 11:05 PM
I'm jealous. You have a chicken fairy. I so want to be granted a wish from the chicken fairy or the ability to leave a feather under my pillow and wake up to find a wish bone?!? And I love that you have "Go to names" for your chickens. I used to call by name ALL orange tabby cats on the dairy (and believe me there were Many!) "Peanut(s)". Black and whites were all "Sylvester(s)". Go to names are a must for all farms and dairy life. It's a matter of affectionate efficiency. Same for chickens. Really what I most wanted to say is that Grandpas ROCK! That's the best gift ever. Really.
Posted by: Frances Alston | July 12, 2011 at 10:57 PM
Mantel Man -- story of Dads life. Father always knows best. Pretty sure he would have straightened out Solomon, our Founding Fathers, and Albert Einstein, given an opportunity.
Posted by: foolery | July 12, 2011 at 08:33 PM
HA! Its an Estrogen Festival around here. Id love another male -- cat, dog, chicken, whatever. As long as no one goes all Anthony Weiner on the local girls, hes welcome.
Posted by: foolery | July 12, 2011 at 08:30 PM
Yeah, I'm sure that sort of thing is heard daily on chicken farms: "I've got a small cock. Wanna pullet?"
Oh, and you described Dad perfectly (no, not the small cock thing, although how would I know) with the line "You should want one." He must've gotten it from Mormor, somehow: "You should want tomatoes and tamale pie."
Posted by: Mantel Man | July 12, 2011 at 08:23 PM
Can't believe you didn't want another male around the house!
Posted by: Rick's Cafe | July 12, 2011 at 07:50 PM
Poor Chas.
Posted by: Mental P Mama | July 12, 2011 at 05:58 PM
Pretty sure...NO, Mrs. Waltz. Its what keeps the blog industry rolling. ; )
Posted by: foolery | July 12, 2011 at 05:45 PM
Will they ever learn...?
Posted by: WaltzInExile | July 12, 2011 at 05:30 PM
ha!
Posted by: Brian Fairlee | July 12, 2011 at 03:43 PM
Oh that Chas!
Posted by: meg | July 12, 2011 at 03:37 PM
I smell a double entendre and the wind is coming from your direction, Pierre. ; )
Posted by: foolery | July 12, 2011 at 03:36 PM
OK. Just as a friend. And only if you want it. I got this great recipe for coq au vin. Capisce?
Posted by: Pierre Lafrance | July 12, 2011 at 03:29 PM