My new Facebook friend Pierre posed several questions about Fooleryland that deserve formal responses. I'm sure that you, like Pierre, have always wanted the answers to these burning questions, and so here they are.
How does one become a citizen of Fooleryland? Do you have to file a petition? Is there an application form? I sure hope there ain't no background check!
You just have to want it, want it BAD. Do you want it? I know you do.
Do you have to pass a test?
Can you read? Mostly? Test passed.
Is there a formal naturalization ceremony?
Not yet, but then we don't actually have any naturalized citizens. I need to plan something, I see that now.
Who do you gotta bribe and how much?
Wait, I just saw this. Yes, of course -- bribes are encouraged. Okay, so you must bribe me to become a citizen of Fooleryland. Let's start with Little Debbie Snack Cakes and work our way up to automobiles.
Is there a formal naturalization ceremony?
Who do you gotta bribe and how much?
Is there some sort of anthem everybody sings on special occasions?
It used to be "O Canada," because we like maple syrup. Now it's "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka, because somebody's got to. We sing it Hands Across America style, on Thursdays.
On what day do you celebrate Foolery Day? You know, that's the day when all them "novelty" shops close for a holiday?
Silly Pierre, EVERY day is Foolery Day. But also, July 11th.
Are you the monarch?
I prefer the term Blog Dictator.
Do you wear some sort of crown and/or long robe with all the fur and the little critter feet dangling like?
On Foolery Day I wear a margarita (see answer to Foolery Day, above). I do like the idea of dangly critter feet stoles, though, but I haven't seen any in Target. Additionally, snoods are mandatory, of course.
(Photo stolen from these guys)
What are citizens of Fooleryland called? Foolerians, Foolaroids, Fools?
Nope -- Fooltards. Wouldn't you like to be a Fooltard too?
On what day do you celebrate Foolery Day? You know, that's the day when all them "novelty" shops close for a holiday?
Are you the monarch?
Do you wear some sort of crown and/or long robe with all the fur and the little critter feet dangling like?
(Photo stolen from these guys)
What are citizens of Fooleryland called? Foolerians, Foolaroids, Fools?
For my first official act, I declare Suburban Kamikaze exempt from wearing the Snood! Im easy that way.
Oh, by the way [whistling now] . . . did you perhaps say something about margaritas?
Posted by: foolery | February 07, 2011 at 06:07 PM
I would like to apply, but I don't look good in a snood. Are there any exemptions to this policy? You should know, I make an excellent Margarita.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | February 07, 2011 at 04:47 PM
High praise indeed from the High Priestess of Comedy. : )
Posted by: foolery | February 05, 2011 at 09:38 AM
I can't even breathe. This is comedy at its highest.
Love,
A Fooltard
Posted by: Marcy Massura | February 04, 2011 at 06:59 PM
An application to Uniland? Great - it'll be reviewed by Immigration Director Desmond Tutu.
Forget it - I'll move to Popland instead. The food is better there.
Posted by: Mantel Man | February 04, 2011 at 03:28 PM
Mantel Man, Im way ahead of you. I sent you an INS application to Uniland.
Posted by: foolery | February 04, 2011 at 02:27 PM
You're fixin' to have a BIG illegal immigration problem - mainly because of the required snoods.
I'll try to gain citizenship in Leoland instead. Wait, that's no good either - I'm uncomfortable in the presence of Leotards.
Posted by: Mantel Man | February 04, 2011 at 02:10 PM
Yeah but just think about how good all the Fooleryland ladies' skin would look, compared to Buzzardskin.
And, besides, Buzzard skin is apparently attractive to Buzzards. They DO keep reproducing, you know.
:)
Posted by: boB Cleveland | February 03, 2011 at 09:12 AM
Silk Snuggies it is, Daryl.
Posted by: foolery | February 03, 2011 at 09:03 AM
I knew I could count on you, Little Debbie. Ill bring the handy wipes.
Posted by: foolery | February 03, 2011 at 08:59 AM
Good thinking about turkeys, boB. But the jury is still out on buzzards. Have you seen their facial skin? *shudder*
Posted by: foolery | February 03, 2011 at 08:58 AM
I vote for static cling to be eliminated from the snugglies or I wont wear one .. so there
Posted by: Daryl | February 03, 2011 at 08:53 AM
Heard "Little Debbie" mentioned, so I ran right over. I'll be delivering the goodies so I should get a pass.
Best laugh I've had all week!!!
Posted by: Debbie | February 03, 2011 at 02:58 AM
You need a National Bird. I nominate the Buzzard.
I would have nominated the turkey, but that might lead to confusion with the citizenry.
Posted by: boB Cleveland | February 02, 2011 at 08:29 PM
Yes, of course -- a Snuggie! with hamsters hanging from the cowl. And a snood, of course.
Posted by: foolery | February 02, 2011 at 07:36 PM
Unlimited Sock Fuzz! Thats the name of the official Fooleryland band!
Posted by: foolery | February 02, 2011 at 07:34 PM
Oh my LAWD. Fooltards? Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls? I'm laughing so hard I'm shooting Shiraz out of my nostrils!! Makes for a messy keyboard.
Regarding the long robe? I think a Snuggie would do in a pinch.
Posted by: Meg | February 02, 2011 at 06:31 PM
If only I were qualified. *My Chihuahua has no snood.
*this passphrase will get you unlimited sock fuzz in the house of asthmagirl.
Posted by: Diane | February 02, 2011 at 04:27 PM
Snow what now?
Posted by: foolery | February 02, 2011 at 04:23 PM
You guys are having wayyyy too much fun on these snow days - I LOVE it!!
Posted by: Rick's Cafe | February 02, 2011 at 04:18 PM