(Original photo stolen from Francisco Jose)
It's almost graduation time. I didn't walk in my own college graduation ceremonies, because I finished in December and JUST DIDN'T CARE. I wanted out, period. But Chas did walk in his ceremony. Chas graduated with a lot of his friends and made a party of it.
Laurie: So tell me about your graduation from Chico State.
(Photo stolen from these guys)
Chas: Well, at 6:30 a.m., we repaired to some girl's house that I didn't know, to drink margaritas. About ten of us, maybe.
Laurie: What was the weather like? I know it can be over 100F for a CSUC graduation.
Chas: Hot and clear, a little bit sticky.
Laurie: And after the margaritas?
Chas: I have no memory until being seated for the ceremony a couple of hours later.
Laurie: Must have been AWESOME margaritas.
Chas: Well, I was probably at a .05 blood alcohol level when I woke up that morning. It didn't take much.
(Photos stolen from these guys and these guys)
Laurie: How did you get to the stadium?
Chas: Hmmmm. Good question.
Laurie: What were you carrying into the ceremony? I'm just trying to determine how much booze you were carrying with you.
Chas: I was not packing alcohol that I can recall.
Laurie: Oh, and your memory of this day is SO trustworthy. So certainly something memorable happened during the ceremony. Spill it.
Chas: Yes, my good friend from the volleyball team, Jim -- not the Jim you know, SPAM, but another Jim -- had to relieve himself during the ceremony.
Laurie: Oh GAHHH.
Chas: During a particularly boring commencement speech.
Chas: He rose from his folding chair and in a controlled sprint on his stubby legs --
Laurie: Nice dig there, Chazzer; he's probably not reading this, you know.
Chas -- being the only thing moving in the entire stadium, he made his way to the shrubbery alongside the tennis courts, where he relieved himself. And no, he did not shout out in a Homeresque way, "Oh yeah, that's the stuff!"
Laurie: But you did.
Chas: I wished I were he.
Laurie: Sounding a little too Shakespeare on us there, Chasmo.
(Original photo stolen from this site)
Chas: "To pee or not to pee. That was the question."
Laurie: Crap. Set up a lob for you. Also, you're cut off.