So where were we?When last we met I was in the middle of an interview with my husband Chas, and he was just about to tell all y'all about how he cured his own acid reflux. The first part was funny really funny funny, but this part is pretty straight:
FOOLERY: Tell us how you did it -- how you cured yourself.
CHAS: First thing in the morning, I woke up --
CHAS: -- and headed for the kitchen, where I poured myself about a pint of warmish water.
FOOLERY: So not out of the door in the fridge -- GASP! -- YOU? Drank TAP WATER?! On purpose?
(Original photo stolen from this site)
CHAS, IGNORING ME: The theory is that the water can't be cold, or it'll shock your stomach into constricting, and you want to expand, not constrict. So after I drank the water I was supposed to rise up on my toes, with my elbows extended, and slam my heels to the floor.FOOLERY: "There's no place like home, there's no place like home . . ."
(Original photo stolen from these guys)
CHAS: But I --
FOOLERY: Hey, the Dorothy joke should have been good for a chuckle, at least.
CHAS: -- took it one better and jumped off of the ottoman instead.
FOOLERY: Why on earth?
CHAS: I didn't think the heel-slamming was quite enough; the ottoman was higher, of course, and I think it worked better. When the stomach is full of water it's heavy, and when you jump suddenly the weight of the full stomach pulls the hernia back into place.
FOOLERY: Whoa. Sort of like a heavy water balloon, I get it.
CHAS: Yeah, and it worked. Also, I think you're supposed to exhale as you slam your heels to the floor.
FOOLERY: Have you had to repeat the process?
CHAS: No, not so far. The articles didn't specify how long the cure would last, but I suppose I'll just do it again as needed.
FOOLERY: Any negative side effects?
CHAS: No, although I suppose the jumping part wasn't great for my OTHER hernia.
CHAS: You asked.
I have asked Chas to get checked out by his doctor to make sure he isn't missing a bigger problem, and he promised me he would. HEAR THAT, HONEY? YOU PROMISED. Chas is not a doctor or medical specialist of any kind, and I'm definitely not, so we don't know anything and
PLEASE DON'T TAKE
MY WORD FOR THIS --ASK A DOCTOR FIRST.
But it makes you think, and it has really helped Chas. I wish I could provide a link but I couldn't find one. Good luck, and don't break your ankles jumping off the ottoman.
(Photo stolen from these guys)