How Chas Cured His Acid Reflux, Part I

 
 

(Original photo stolen from these guys)

Chas seems to have cured his acid reflux.

Silly me, I hadn't noticed, even though it's been about a month, and I have seen him pour a glass of wine with dinner a couple of times . . . still, I was NOT PAYING ATTENTION. As usual.

So I interviewed him about it last week, a process made tedious by hand-writing the questions and answers in my doctor scrawl. You'll be happy to know I have transcribed it for all of our benefit.

CHAS:  Remember that cure for acid reflux I told you about?

FOOLERY:  Ummmmm . . . sorta?

CHAS:  Well, it worked.

FOOLERY:  You tried it?
Already?
When?
How long did it take?
Did you have to -- oh, um . . . let's start with . . . "How?"

CHAS, PATIENTLY, ALWAYS PATIENTLY:  I read about it in one of those alternative medicine newsletters, and then I read it again in a separate newsletter, so I thought I'd try it.

FOOLERY:  Well, can I ask you a question?

CHAS:  Just one?

FOOLERY:  Very funny. I know you talked with your doctor about your acid reflux, and I know he gave you some Prilosec samples, but I never heard what your diagnosis was?

CHAS:  Not diagnosed. I think I have a hiatal hernia, but it wasn't officially diagnosed.

 


(Original graphic stolen from these guys)

FOOLERY:  Okay, I just wanted to make that point to readers: CHAS IS JUST TOTALLY FISHING HERE, FOLKS.

CHAS:  Not true.

FOOLERY:  Just kidding. Anyway. How long have you had reflux?

CHAS:  Better part of a year.

FOOLERY:  What were your symptoms?

CHAS:  After going to bed I was fine lying on my back, but when I turned on my side, things would "come up."

FOOLERY:  "Things" meaning food -- which foods bothered you?

CHAS:  Red wine, ice cream, dark chocolate --

FOOLERY:  All the things that make life worth living.

CHAS:  Yeah.

 


(Original photo stolen from these guys)

FOOLERY:  How about spicy foods, like pizza?

CHAS:  No problem, surprisingly. The issue was eating after 7:00 p.m., assuming I went to bed at 11:00.   A four-hour cushion of time between eating and sleeping was something I tried pretty hard to maintain.

FOOLERY: Well, spicy foods probably would have bothered you, too, but you don't snack on spicy foods at 8:30, whereas you might have wine, ice cream or chocolate that late. Well, I would, anyway.

[Here's where the interview deteriorated and started to get silly; it was bound to happen, and No, you really don't want me to explain it]

FOOLERY:  "Don't forget the grease mark!"

CHAS: "I think that's your best bet."

FOOLERY: "It's greater than keen -- it's CUGAT."

[Ahem. But seriously . . .]

FOOLERY:  Were there any sexual side effects? [oh yes I did]

CHAS:  No, only --

FOOLERY:  DUDE! I am totally messing with you!

CHAS:  You didn't let me finish: only vomiting on my partner. French kissing was problematic.

FOOLERY:  Who is this partner of whom you speak?

 



Come back tomorrow for "How Chas Cured His Acid Reflux, Part II." No, really -- please? Come back?

Comments

[Meg]

Oh no! Cliffhanger!! You tease, you!

[boB Cleveland]

Laurie,

Most guys eventually find that out.

[foolery]

@boB, I think the Discovery Channel would take a pass but the National Geographic Channel might start a dig in our living room. It could happen.

@Audubon Ron, YOU LIE. ; )

@boB, Hiney Wine sounds too expensive for us.

@Ann Marie and BHE, I don't have any photos done for my Thursday post. I may have to add feathers. And a tiara.

@CBW, I'll get on that. We'd all be sicker'n dogs, I think, however.

Thanks for reading everybody -- I'll post Part II tonight!

-- Laurie

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Chas has a pretty darn funny partner, and I sure do hope she orders a case of that chocolate cabernet for Wine Fest--I mean Blog Fest.

[big hair envy]

Will Chas be wearing the tiara in tomorrow's photos? Will there be feathers?

[Ann Marie]

hahahahah I got to see how this ends!

[Bob Cleveland]

As in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu74hcSDyYQ

[Bob Cleveland]

Somehow I think the Hiney Wine Company may be mentioned before this thing is over.

[Audubon Ron]

Don't ask me, I know nothing!

[Bob Cleveland]

I'm thinking Discovery HD Theater might be all about this. Do you have room for 7 or 8 HD cameras and guys in your house?

I could envision seven, maybe eight weeks of this.