Remember When: What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

This post is part of a new blog meme brought to us by my funny and talented blog friend Da Goddess, and a blogger who is new to me and seems equally delightful, Mannequin at Fractured Toy. Their meme is called Remember When: Skipping Down Memory Lane, and the idea is to capture bloggers' collective memories, threads of shared experiences.

Monday kicked off the series, and I, of course, missed it, due to being out until 10:30 Monday night, returning home to no internet service, and oh yes, being a LAME-O. So, because I always do things the hard way, I am FINALLY adding my name to Mr. Linky and creating a post inspired by the photo below. Pull up a cushion and a handful of horse tranquilizers and I'll tell you a story.

I was a band geek in grade school and high school. I even logged one semester in college in the concert band, where they broke the Geek-O-Meter with so much I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I humor, that even a life-long band geek like myself was clawing at the door to get away.

In the spring high school bands practice parade marching, and in the fall they perform field shows, during halftimes at football games. As we played the music we counted our steps (eight steps between hash marks -- the five-yard marks on the field) and performed crisp turns. Each marcher had his own instructions according to elaborate diagrams. A big band can create school initials on the field -- USC or UCLA, for instance. Our high school band could have made a comma, maybe.

And so we were shocked to learn that the shape we were collectively to assume on the field, the odd light bulb-shaped lump on the diagram passed out by the band teacher, was actually a boxing glove.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

"Really?" we all thought. "I can't even tell that on the diagram; how are a bunch of surly football fans on the bleachers supposed to divine that?"

"Because we'll be playing the 'Theme from Rocky,' and the glove will move up and down the field in a punching motion," chirped our fearless leader.

"Ri-i-ight," we said. Juniors and seniors quietly altered their spring schedules to include anything -- anything  -- other than band. We freshmen and sophomores rolled our eyes but tried to make the best of it. In practices the formation proved to look about as awful as you'd expect.

On the appointed Friday night we faced most of the town of Orland as they sat blinking in the stands. Forward march. Left, right, left, stop, left, right, left, turn. The flop sweat was starting. We lurched upfield -- "Trying hard nowwwwwwww!" -- and downfield -- "Gonna fly nowwwwwwww!" -- and back upfield with none of the grace of a boxer. Looking back on it I'm sure we resembled a blurry potato rolling around on a car floor, or worse, a phallus.

All this while wearing three-piece blue and white wool uniforms with big tall white fur hats. You envy me, I know.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

And where was our band teacher? Making a spectacle of herself. At about six feet tall, she probably didn't need to stand high atop a ladder to be seen by her mortified band. And it makes my story that much better that she wore a purple and green plaid caftan, too short and apparently made of upholstery fabric, with hiking boots.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

Yes, you read that right.

"Getting strong now, wont be long now, getting strong now . . . gonna fly now . . ."

Check out Da Goddess's post for this meme; she was obviously in a far cooler marching unit than I was. And Mannequin's remembrance of drill team was terrific and funny. Go see what they have started.

Comments

[coach suitcase]

Wonderful article, thanks for putting this together! I'm very happy to leave my comment here, and hope that your blog will become more and more color!

[Jason]

I love this.

Being a band geek was the one thing I was missing in becoming The World's Biggest Nerd Ever.

Now I must go visit Da Goddess because she and I haven't chatted for a while.

[Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy]

A boxing glove? That's, um, unique. :D I wasn't in band, but I did do drill team for awhile. *jazz hands*

[big hair envy]

OMG!!! That's all I'm going to be able to think about when the band takes the field tonight at Snow White's homecoming football game!!! BWAHAHAHA!

[Cactus Petunia]

What instrument did you play? (Because that will only add to the Band Geek allure.)

**FROM LAURIE: Typepad is KILLING ME this week -- AARRGGHH! Can't comment on my own blog, unless you want to read the ENTIRE contents of the e-mail I -- but wait, sorry. Ahem. Miss Cactus, I played a LOT of stuff, but in marching band I started on clarinet, moved to tenor sax briefly, and then stuck with glockenspiel. Yes, I'm a geek in TWO languages (at least). : )

-- Laurie

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

I think I took too many horse tranquilizers, because I can't stop thinking about blurry potatoes rolling around on the car floor.

Genius. Your girls get it honestly.

**FROM LAURIE: Please see Cactus Petunia's comment reply for an explanation of why I'm "editing" to reply, *sigh.* CBW, I'm fairly sure I'm warping my children, but it was probably too late for them from birth.

[foolery]

Goddess -- thanks so much for the opportunity to write about band. I'm pretty sure I have a ton more stories to bore people with. And yes, her dress was ankle-length and best described as a caftan, or maybe a sofa slip cover. For a really ugly sofa.

Marlene, I could not have told you how many inches -- how did you do that?! I just know eight steps to the hash mark.

Mannequin, great to meet you too, and I loved your story (check it out, y'all). So sorry about Trite Boy.

Raz! How are you, my dear? Yes, I truly hate that song, and this counts for one reason why.

MPM, I always make you wash your brain, don't I? I'm sorry. You must have the cleanest mind in town.

Linette -- thanks for backing up my story! There must be some Santa Clara Band Review stories we could dredge up. Linette and I played clarinet together as freshmen. What was Mrs. H thinking? What would have been wrong with a big O? We could have done that! Maybe she thought we couldn't spell. Maybe SHE couldn't spell.

Thanks so much for reading everybody!

-- Laurie

[Linette Richie]

Ohhhhh those were the days..."one time at band camp" I do remember this event our freshman year. LOL It was actually a good thing I was naive at the time or I may have realized the potential for an off color remark or two about the back and forth movement of our "GLOVE"…. Oh and by the way, I was never a band geek.... I was worse; I was in my own element. Fun fact for the day---I teach music and drama for my school district! So does this mean I am the Queen Geek.

[Mental P Mama]

I need to go wash my brain out now.

[Raz]

Does this mean that the 'Theme from Rocky' produces a sort of Pavlov's dogs response in you, and you have to go and hide somewhere?

I'm so sorry. That's an amazing theme song.

[mannequin]

OH my goodness! You are hilarious in a most serious way.
I had forgotten all about the band and their big hats. Our drum major was so trite; in my yearbook he wrote these words of wisdom, "you are the downbeat in my parade of life." Oh yech.

Thank you so very much for exposing the inner you. I am so very pleased to meet you. :)

[Marlene]

Great memories and I am very impressed that you remembered your field shows...I have all but forgotten how to take a perfect 22 1/2 inch step.

[Da Goddess]

"Our high school band could have made a comma, maybe."

Classic line!

A caftan. Really?

And while our band did get to play a bit of Rush during field and parade events, we weren't all that cool. We tried to be, but we failed miserably. We did, however, fool enough people to win competitions.

I'm so glad you're one of my fellow geeks.

Thanks, too, for playing along!

P.S. I know you're going to love Mannequin. She's pretty awesome. Like you.