I Have Minion Breath

I'm back, reveling in a quiet house that's tidy and almost clean (in an almost sort of way), and starting to work out the stuff I want to tell you about our stay at the Gaia Hotel in Anderson (the Cliff Notes version: LOVED IT). But I'm in this sort of argument with a friend over minions.

Yes, minions, and my claim to them. I say I have minions. My friend Dan Leadbetter, he says, NO WAY JOSE, you do not have minions. I thought about crying so I could put this argument in my WIN column and move on, but then I thought to myself, Self? -- that'd be me talking to me -- Self? You do SO have minions! And we can prove it to Dan. We can't Slim Jim Dan, since while he Twitters and podcasts and Facebooks he doesn't yet blog (unless I missed something?) so we can't exactly Slim Jim him . . . but we can do something else.

If you're, you know, up for it, and, you know, you have the time and stuff, and you're feeling like minions and all . . .

I want you to vote for Dan.

Or, if you don't want to do that, Twitter the link to vote for Dan. Or, if you're REALLY generous, you could do both. Skywriting is a nice touch, too. Or perhaps a phone tree. Let's show him that I HAVE MINIONS! Darnitall.

Dan is someone I've known since high school, and he's one of those special people who lights up a room, much the way that lighting a fart lights up a room. No-no-no-no-no, I meant that Dan gives off an inner light and draws people to him like moths to a flame . . . so what we have here is:

Dan attracts moths. Dan is a woolly, glowing guy who attracts moths.

This isn't working. Can you tell I'm tired? Also, too? I had cereal for dinner. Please send help, Minions.


(Photo stolen from maxintosh at Flickr)

OKAY.

Please, if you are so inclined, click this link, go watch this one-minute video, which is Dan's on-line job application

TO A WINERY

(yes, I knew that would get your attention, most of you)

and we will PROVE to Dan that

I HAVE MINIONS.

Vote once using each e-mail address that you have! I can't vote anymore or I would. Dan would make a fantastic marketing person for Murphy-Goode Winery. Of course, I have no way of counting all y'all, but I plan to take FULL CREDIT for ANY votes that Dan gets in the next couple of days.



Dan, if you're reading this? Knock 'em dead, Dude! And let's do lunch. I'll have my minions contact your minions.

Comments

[Cactus Petunia]

I gave up being a vegetarian years ago because was craving filet minions all the time.

And I voted twice!

[Kathi D]

Of course you have minions! Cadres of them. Us.

[Rick's Cafe]

nonstop laughing :)!!

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Rick- My introversion would not allow me to be social however it wholeheartedly encourages wine drinking.

Your job could be the pool boy since you've been talking about it ever since I met you. Never mind that I've never really met you, that's beside the point.

So we'd have a winery with a swimming pool which opens up all sorts of possibilities...We could call it "The Dive and Imbibery" or "Splish Splash I was Taking a Carafe" or well, I"ll just stop now.

Signed,
Exhausted from My Current Paying Job Which Involves No Wine, Pools or Fun

[Rick's Cafe]

Looking at the job requirements, I started wondering....where was Foolery's video??

A job that forces you to drink wine and be social and Foolery didn't apply for it? ....didn't abandon her family and career for the chance at it? There must be a catch....

Shoot, CBW & I would take the job in a heart beat. She'd drink the wine and be social and I'd...., well, I'd find something to do:))

I could work on perfecting a wine that tastes like beer! :)

[foolery]

You are all AWESOME. The best minions a girl could ask for, *sniff*.

Thanks, Pres, and if Dan gets the winery job I'll drop some MAJOR hints that there just isn't enough wine flowing to the Chesapeake Bay area.

Rick, if I could have cereal for dinner and burritos for breakfast EVERY DAY, I would. It's how the earth should revolve.

Raz! So nice to see you. And thanks for letting me manipulate you, across the pond and everything. : )

Yup, Bob, I have southern roots. Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas . . . plus I married a displaced Tennesseean, and have a southern mother-in-law. She has two recipes for squirrel that she keeps forgetting to send.

Meg! So you're First VP now -- congrats. I hope it came with good health insurance and a substantial pay raise? ; )

Kyddryn, there is no law of exclusivity where minions are concerned. I am a minion to pretty much everyone here. Certainly I am your minion. Shall I peel you a grape?

Miss Caution, I think you represent the entire Midwest by yourself. It's a huge responsibility, and it won't be worth it. The meetings are gloriously short, however. ; )

Marcy, Mr. Marcy, Jack, Tucker, Google, Pixel and Megabyte, huge thanks to you all. All y'all, wink wink.

You all rock, and I will let Dan Leadbetter know it. Or, you can let him know yourself, if you;d like -- he's @danleadbetter on Twitter.

Thanks again, guys!!!!

Laurie

[The Glamorous Life Association]

I wrote a great comment and it never showed.
I voted.
The Husband voted.
Jack Voted
Tucker voted
and Google, Pixel and MegaBite voted via hotmail.

Your faithful minion,
Marcy

[Caution Flag]

I guess I don't have any minions of my own because I'm only

A Member
Mid-West Minions of Foolery

[Kyddryn]

Done, Mizz Foolery...

Wait a minute...I thought YOU were MY minion! Aww, dang...

Is there such a thing as mutual minioning??

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

[Meg]

Done.
Sincerely,
First Vice President, ECMOF

[Bob Cleveland]

I like minions, and ketchup, on my hamburgers. What's the big deal about having some of THOSE?

And, Laurie, y'all really ARE Southern, you know (only Southerners know that the plural form of "y'all" is "all y'all").

[Raz]

Ahahaha I feel good being a minion.

Although slightly manipulated, too.

[Rick's Cafe]

So what's wrong with haveing cereal for dinner?
Next you'll say burritos for breakfast is somehow wrong.

Glad you had a restful weekend.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

This minion can't wait to see how one applies to a winery, because she thinks that would be an ideal way to earn a living.

Is there anything else I can do for you before I wash your cereal bowl and finish tidying your house so you can eliminate the "almost" part of its clean status?

Signed,
President, East Coast Minions of Foolery (ECMOF)