Ashes to Ashes, DUH to DUH

(Photo stolen from these guys)

Oh my GAHHHHHHHHH I did it again. I freaked you out, didn't I?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

Gotten a few e-mails, IMs, even a phone call. I really do have stuff on my mind, but I'm fine. It's really more the frustration of not being able to say completely what I need to say, here, on my blog. PLEASE tell me you understand what I mean, so I don't think you think I'm suicidal?

I'm NOT suicidal. I'm totally fine and happy. Except for a face on fire, which is almost better, and which I'll explain soon, if I remember.

BUT.

(You KNEW there was a "but," didn't you?)

BUT

my sudden onset of accidental morbidity got me thinking about death.* What if the worst should happen?

No, I don't meant that the Napa Valley burns to the ground and we are all forced to drink paint thinner . . . I mean, MORE paint thinner.

I mean, the worst in MY world, which would be that I tripped over one cat too many, hit my head and met my maker, who looks surprisingly a lot like RonCo in this bright white light . . . what if I died?

The blog would come to an end, but would Chas even know how to tell my on-line friends? Probably not. Would there be a funeral, or -- more my style -- a doughnut exchange?

I'M NOT DYING (as far as I know), but here is a challenge for you. Pick one of these three:

1. Foolery's inscription on the headstone and/or paper plate tacked above the sink hole

2. Foolery's eulogy, Twitter style (140 characters/spaces, max)

3. What song should be playing as Foolery's coffin (a refrigerator carton from behind Sears) is paraded through the street of Orland? Yes, I wrote street singular; it wasn't a mistake.

Pick one and run with it -- have fun! I may as well enjoy my own death before I die, right? Also, I'm not dying.

_  _  _  _  _

*I realized just as I finished this that I may also have picked up the whole "death as schtick" thing from a recent post by one of my favorite bloggers, Kathi at I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus. Yes, I know. That IS the single-best blog name in the history of the planet. And No, I didn't mean to steal her theme, but it must be a subliminal homage.

Comments

[Meg]

Um. I got nothin'. But I sure enjoyed reading all the comments! Oh, and also? Glad you are not dying. Truly. Don't die. For a really long time, anyway. I am going to need your company in July.

[Suz Broughton]

Written on your coffin--with Sharpie--Please leave a comment about Foolery's passing. She just loves comments :)

[Gubby aka ijefff]

Very short eulogy:
I told Laurie, "It won't kill you to read the manual".

Who knew?

[Kathi D]

OK, thought of a song:

Warren Zevon, Looking for the Next Best Thing

[Kathi D]

Well, I love any homage, subliminal or not.

As for your headstone or paper plate, this is completely and 100% Unoriginal, but I like it anyway:

I TOLD them I was sick

[Cactus Petunia]

I'm speechless.

[Bob Cleveland]

CBW you gived me an idea.

LaGrone
LaGroan
LaProne
LaGone.

:)

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

On the tombstone/paperplate:

Laurie LaGone

On twitter:

Sniffle, sniffle. No more piffle.

Could not think of a song, but the day is not over yet.

[Rick's Cafe]

Oh yeah, one other nerdy thought (a day late).

May the 4th be with you!

[Rick's Cafe]

A marching band down main street, ala classic New Orleans dirge/festival style!

As for Chas, just give him Bob's & my e-mail addresses...after you teach him how to turn on the computer.

Of course, you'll have to disguise this computer training as "This is something the children like to do - you need to be involved". Otherwise he'll just freak and start thinking that you're going to sign him up for ballroom dancing classes next.

[Caution Flag]

Out of my league on this one after reading kyddryn's entry. I am thinking about what would happen if I died and no one knew. I guess that means nothing would happen. Okay, that feels better.

[MommyTime]

Do you know about Secret Spineless Whine? You send an email to secretspineless DOT whine AT blogger DOT com and put the title of the post in the subject line, and the body of the post in the email, and you DON'T sign it, and then it automatically posts, so that even the owners of the site don't know who wrote what. It's awesome. It gets about 15 whines a day, so no one would know which was yours.

I can't write your headstone because I'd miss you too much. But how about a Twitter tribute: "She was funnier than all get out before she got out."

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Forgot. I forgot to get gas last night but I *forot* to queue up the coffee and am way behind on my caffeine consumption for the morning.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

I'm late (as usual) for leaving for work and forot (as usual) to get gas so now I have to pump it in the rain, but I will have 8.5 of the dullest hours known to man sitting in an office doing nothing and will ponder this assignment all day long.

Thank you, thank you, for giving me a reason to think today.

[Bob Cleveland]

The headstone:

"NO FOOLIN'"

[Elaina Avalos]

There are things I need to blog about but can't publicly. So I do it anonymously. I think someone else said that in the comments from yesterday's post. You do what you gotta do. If you post it on Bartender Face, no one will know. Hell, Laurie maybe a few of us should send you something to go on Bartender Face and then no one will know what is what.

I'll have to think about the eulogy, music, headstone inscription. That will require far more brain power than I have after my day.

[Kyddryn]

Seen on the headstone of world famous blogger, Foolery, after she tripped over a dyspeptic cat, knocked her head on a corner cabinet, and drowned in paint thinner she'd ben collecting in a bucket: See? Bad pussy CAN kill you!

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who understands that sometimes you want to say things you can't because someone may see it, take it the wrong way, blow it out of proportion, and create more drama than you feel like dealing with...so fire an e-mail to a body and she'll commiserate, already)