Golf Is Trying to Kill Me

(Photo stolen from this site)

Never mind nearly being thrown from an out-of-control golf cart or hemorrhaging our discretionary income to TopFlight and the Tuscan Ridge Golf Club every month, Golf has been trying to kill me for years.

Once, as I was speeding along the Kaanapali Parkway on my way home to Lahaina (when I lived in Maui, *sigh*), a golf ball came out of NOWHERE to thwack my poor little Corolla on the hood. Had I goosed the gas by a mere fraction the ball would have hit me through the open window, killing me instantly, I'm sure. Or at least making a welt.

A few months later I walked along that same parkway from my ticket booth (where I sold tickets for the company luau and for other tours and activities) down to the luau grounds to deliver the receipts. As I strolled down the sidewalk a car turned into the driveway behind me, and the driver called to me. I turned around and waved, pausing only a second. When I resumed my walk a golf ball hurtled from high in the sky and hit to the right of the sidewalk, about a yard ahead of me. Had I not stopped to wave the ball would have hit me square in the temple, killing me instantly, or at least smarting a whole lot.

This is my only evidence that Golf is trying to kill me, but I think it's compelling. I'm cagey, however, and Golf hasn't gotten me yet. I avoid golf courses, pro shops and Chas on Saturdays.

I think Jai Alai  has it in for me, too.

Comments

[myrtle beach golf]

You can enjoy this game only if u paly it.

[Fujikura Golf]

Well, not all people have the same opinion. You might feel that golf is killing you but we can't deny the fact that golf is also a source of strength of other people

[mommypie]

Golf schmolf. Where's the Beer Cart?

[Rick's Cafe]

Yeah, know what you mean about that evil game of golf and how it tries to kill people.

It's been pickling my liver for years....a slow, but not really too painful, death.

[MommyTime]

This is an excellent photo for this post, and I was pretty sure that the pretty girl lying down was Mormor in her youth. Nevermind that it's apparently New York City, and she was a country girl. It still took me until halfway through this post to figure out that this wasn't a Mormor story. Apparently I need more sleep. :)

[Caution Flag]

I don't think it's trying to kill you. I believe it just has a crush on you.

[Bakerslove]

Me, mom seeing my son (7ish) in a big chair watching golf on tv. "What are you doing?"

Son: " Playing retired"

[Mental P Mama]

I think golf has it in for most of us. Even those who try to smack that stupid little ball around. gah

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

If you can believe it, housework--especially laundry, vacuuming, sweeping and decluttering-- is even more dangerous than golf. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Kathi D]

Just so you know, some of my friends call me their "Special" friend, and they must mean it in a good way, right?

[Kathi D]

I'm pretty sure Golf has it in for a lot of people. We used to live near a golf course and our neighbors who fronted the greens (??whatever they're called, I don't play) regularly had golf balls crashing through their picture windows.

You are Special, though.