Foolery Explains Swine Flu: The WHO Is On The Case

(Original photo stolen from these guys)

Some of you may have heard about a health problem called the Swine Flu. As an official Hick Who Has Actually Seen a Pig And Perhaps Even Touched It, I Don't Recall, I would like to shed some light on the situation.

People, people, people. It's NOT time to panic! Pigs are nothing to be afraid of.

Wait, what's that? It's not a pig problem? But how . . . ? Oh, ahem, okay. 'Scuse me. Back on track here.

Okay, so Swine Flu? Is apparently not about pigs. Forget that.

Swine Flu is an illness you get from eating pork.

Stop it, you're hurting me! Jeeze louise, don't kick me under the table when I'm talking to my -- well whaddya mean pork meat doesn't cause the Swi -- really? It doesn't? Oh. It really is a flu bug? Oh.

Ahem. So . . . right. Not from pork. Heh heh heh . . . ju-u-u-ust testin' ya. Apparently the Swine Flu is really a flu-like illness people get from going to Mexico.

OWWWWWWWWW! Dammit, DON'T KICK ME AGAIN! I swear -- huh? What? But half of Mexico is -- are you sure? But that's the way it sounds on the news . . . all right . . . just . . . BACK OFF, I mean it!

Turns out you DON'T get Swine Flu from going to Mexico, necessarily. But there's one thing everyone agrees on: the World Health Organization (the WHO) is working overtime on the Swine Flu outbreak. It's been pretty tough sledding for The WHO since there are only two of them, but really? How much help would Keith Moon have been, anyway?

(Photo stolen from The Who's official web site)

Right, right? SEE? I know this one! Okay, no more kicking.

In a speech before, um, a bunch of people today, at 5:15, WHO spokesman and pretty cool guitarist Pete Townsend said, "We just want to make sure the kids are alright. There's no substitute for caution. Anyway, anyhow, anywhere, avoid crowded places where germs congregate, like public transportation. Stay off the Magic Bus. Sneeze on your elbow. Stuff like that."

I rock at this citizen journalist stuff. OW!

Comments

[Rick's Cafe]

Gotta love our government hard at work.

Just because one child had the flu and missed school LAST week, the Health Department has determined that the entire school will be closed all of NEXT week.

And no, the child never went to the hospital, never needed to go to the hospital and...he's all better now.

The school administration is just as culpable in displaying their fear.

I wonder, how does one sue an organization to force them to behave like they have a set?

....this really screws up my tee times for next week.

[Kathi D]

Wait a minute. What happened to Keith Moon? Are the 60's over yet?

[Mental P Mama]

oink

[Rick's Cafe]

...gotta watch out for those wireless keyboards - when the cell phone rings and the microwave is running, the keyboard hits the 'enter' key all by itself.

And now, after I figured WHAT happened, I've forgotten what I was going to say after 'Vice-President'...

Does Swine Flue have any affect on one's brain & memory?

Or maybe I should just call it a day and try to get in a round of golf before the kids get home from school...

[blissfully caffeinated]

Thank you so much for clearing this all up for me. I will indeed stay off the magic bus.

[Rick's Cafe]

Pete stole that talk from the Vice President...

[Caution Flag]

Thank God for you. Really.

[Meg]

I know I turn first to my local TV station for all the breaking news and facts about impending pandemics that are a threat to all humanity!

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Were they talking about this Who Flu from Whoville?

You better you better you bet.