The Two Greatest Pieces of Marital Advice EVER

Marriage must be in the air, now that thoughts of young men are turning to . . . baseball.  Yeah, well, when Marcy at The Glamorous Life Association told the Internuts all about her friend who had asked for her help to propose to his long-time girlfriend*, I thought two things. One: HELL yeah, I'm in. Two: Me? Is she joking? I'm the least romantic and most girly-inhibited person she knows. How can I help? I mean, I was proposed to in a bar. I got married about an hour after getting a latte at the beach in my holey jeans, and my hair was even still damp (it always is). What can I possibly bring to this party that won't turn it into a laughingstock?

And then I remembered the two greatest pieces of marital advice ever.

The first was from two of my husband's college volleyball friends, Dave and Mary. They make marriage look easy and like a heckuva lot of fun. I'll never forget what they said to us -- they said, "Always --" no, wait, it was "Never . . ." um . . . Oh yeah. Their card to us read

FIGHT NAKED

The second fantastic piece of advice was something Chas and I concocted. Here it is:



Oh. My. Goodness. Al Green is better than Marvin Gay with his "Sexual Healing," although that ain't bad . . . Everyone should be given this album before they walk down the aisle. (Not before the wedding, because we'd just have a whole bunch of pregnant brides, and really? None of us need the extra stress of THAT.) If every married couple had to listen to "Love and Happiness" and "Tired of Being Alone" every time they argued, marital fights would drop dramatically. We might even pick fights with each other just for the, um, fun of it.

So if you must fight, and you will, first turn on Al Green, then get naked, oil up, and -- oh  never mind, that was something else . . . anyway, good luck fighting.

Also? Best of luck to you, young bride and groom to be. I'm thrilled to have been a part of your big day.

Where are my pants . . .

UPDATE, 6:05 P.M. PDT: AND NOW YOU MUST GO CHECK OUT THIS LINK TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE STORY


GO ON, GIT!!!

*Seriously, do go check out Marcy's post for Tuesday 3/24/09. There are LOTS of people involved in this story, and I think -- no, I KNOW -- you'll kick yourself later if you don't follow along.

Comments

[gangsta bride]

Fantastic! Best advice I've heard.

[mommypie]

You had me at that Al Green album cover.

And Fight Naked? LOVE IT. Can I wear black socks?

Seriously? Aside from the birth of my daughter, today was the best day of my life.

Thank you Dear Laurie for being such a wonderful part of the day.

xoxox

[Kara]

Hmm, how can I turn this into a tasteful toast for my brother's wedding? :) Very funny!

[Cactus Petunia]

My husband's advice is "fold laundry naked". Mine is: find a spouse who likes to fold laundry.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

OK. This proves it ONCE AND FOR ALL.

We were most definitely separated at birth, even if we were born six months to the day apart.

I LOVE AL GREEN!!!!!!!

(and this is a great story, both yours amd the other.)

[texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana]

Love it. It is the only way to fight fair.

[restuarant refugee]

Yours is a very sweet story, and the Proposal 2.0 might very well have redoubled my faith in the ability of humans to connect. However, as much as I love Al Green, Marvin Gaye has some seriously romantic music that works pretty well given the advice you provided.

[Lynette]

Heh. I been married for 16 years...I KNOW Al Green.

[Kara-Noel]

LOL!! When people ask us why we are such a happy couple we tell them to shower together every night. I always love the reactions! But REALLY nothing like a naked hug or a quick slap and tickle before bed. (I think I'm so funny)

[threeundertwo]

This is such a fun day. I love this post.

I'm off to start a fight. . .

[Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae]

Yep, I'm off to iTunes to check me out some Al Green. Although, since we've had five kids in four years, maybe I'd better hold off...

[Brooke]

maybe i'll pick a fight this evening ;)

[Bob Cleveland]

(I think it was Lewis Grizzard but it may have been Jeff Foxworthy that said "naked" means no clothes, but "nekkid" means naked, and up to something...)

[Elaina Avalos]

I love Al Green's Greatest Hits CD!!! Seriously. I got it for Christmas one year.

Of course, I'm single at the moment so I don't listen to it very often these days. Hahaha!!! But yes, way better than Marvin Gaye if you ask me!

[Auds at Barking Mad]

OK this is the 5th time I've tried to leave a comment and TypePad keeps telling me it can't accept my data. Cheeses of Nazareth...being rejected by a blogging platform SUCKS!

Anyhow, this post is awesome. I laughed outloud.
And now I'm looking for some olive oil and a reason to start a fight with the hubby so we can get all oiled up and nekkid.

[Bob Cleveland]

Uhh .. Laurie ... if you ever decide to fight with the neighbors, I'm getting them portable bleachers out and heading your way.

Be sure and let me know in advance, OK? It's a 3-day drive.

[JD at I Do Things]

*rips off clothes and runs into kitchen*

"Why can't you love my extra 20 pounds?!"

*puts clothes back on and sulks*

[Busy Bee Suz]

I love your advice...well, the advice you were given. Very cute.

[Bob Cleveland]

Coolest blog deal I've seen yet. Well, other than Slim Jimming.

2 great pieces of advices we got, early on:

1) An old saying: Where one WILL not, two CANNOT argue.

2) A poem:

If you want a wonderful marriage..
That fills up your loving cup..
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
And whenever you're right, SHUT UP!

Hey .. it's worked for 50 years & 9 days.

[Mental P Mama]

That is very sage advice! Wish I'd had that two decades ago;)

[Meg]

Love this!!

[Martha]

LOL at "where are my pants..."!!!!

[The Glamorous Life Association]

Al Green?
Really?

I am running to itunes RIGHT NOW.