Brown-Noser

Last night I crawled into bed somewhat earlier than usual.  Chas was, as usual, already there, pinned to the mattress by a large cat.  But which cat, exactly, I didn't know.

"Who's on ya, Mr. Foolery?"

"Campos," he answered, sleepily.  I stuck out my hand to pet the big puffy cat.  The thing about Campos is that in the dark you have to feel around a bit to tell exactly which cat part you might be petting (unlike a short-haired cat, on which you can tell immediately its head from its hiney).



"G'night, Campy," I said said as I patted his . . . well, some part of him.

"Yeah, he's a good cat," Chas said, and lifted his head a bit to nuzzle the old cat.

And then, something went very wrong.  I could tell, even in the dark, that Chas froze.

"Oh," he said quietly.

"What?"  I asked.

"Well, Campos must have turned around on me.  I thought I had the other end . . . "

Beat.

Beat.

"Wait, did you just THINK you kissed him on the nose?!"

"No!  I just . . . nose-nose-nosed him, but on the . . ."

(A nose-nose-nose is our family's version of an Eskimo kiss -- rubbing noses together.)

"OH GAHHHH!" I shrieked.  Usually you hope and pray for a good reason to yell that in bed, and usually you don't expect it to have anything to do with a 90-year-old cat.

"No no!" protested Chas.  "It was only on his fur!  There was NO touching of skin!!"

But it was too late.  I was laughing so hard I was nearly choking.  The more he protested that he had not, in fact, goosed the cat with his sniffer, the harder I laughed.  We howled, we snorted, we cackled.  And Campos rode it out with great feline disdain.

Then, just as the laughs were petering out, Chas added, "Well, it could have been worse.  At least it's not as bad as when my dog Joshua sat on my thumb."

Oh GAHHHH.

The laughter started all over again.

Comments

[bejewell]

WAAAAHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!!

(snort)

Totally laughing out loud at this. And I NEVER do that.

[Bob Cleveland]

I don't think I want to KNOW what the cat did during or immediately after the nuzzlegoosenose-fondle deal.

Please don't tell us.

Inkydentally, did you ever hear about Randolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer? He could run as fast as all the others.

He just couldn't stop as fast.

[The Mom Bomb]

Let's just thank the Sweet Lord all you gave him was an Eskimo kiss.

Campos is purrrrty.

[Ellie]

Oh dear. Great title. Not so great image. ;)

[MomZombie]

As the keeper of many cats, most of them long haired and prone to bed cuddling, I know what you are talking about. And they act as if they don't know what's going on. Somewhere out there, the cats are gathering at a fence and swapping stupid human stories.

[imom]

Campos is so beautiful. We had a orange long haired tabby just like him, only a girl named Sunny. She died recently at the ripe old age of 16, just missing her 17th birthday. When she was curled in a ball it was hard to tell what was what!

My husband and I have started laughing at bedtime like that many a time!

Great story!!

[Rick's Cafe]

Sometimes ya just know when it's going to be a good weekend. Starting the butt/fart jokes on a Thursday (instead of saving them for Friday) is a sure sign!

[Kyddryn]

:::snort:::

I NEVER did that when I had a Mainecoon...nope...not even once. And if I did...I wouldn't tell...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Oh, the humanity!

Once at a Thanksgiving dinner, my baby sister reached down to pet the cat who was swirling between her legs while she continued gazing across the table at the person she was conversing with. Yes, she grabbed the butterballs, except they were not on the turkey.