Taking the "Social" Out of "Social Media"

Or, "I'm No Twitter Snob; I'm a Twitter Curmudgeon"

Watch this video by this (most likely) very-nice-but-misguided man, Perry Belcher.  There are many pictures.  There could be a quiz.

His thesis?  "Don't be a snob on any social medium like Twitter [or, presumably, Facebook or MySpace].  Befriend all who ask you, follow everyone automatically."

Whaaaaa?

Is this guy serious?  Okay, I'm about to get cranked up on a rant here, so hold your ears firmly to your heads for a minute.

Here's his question:  "Are yooooooooou . . . a Twitter Snob?"

My answer:  Yes!  Guddammit, yes!  YES I AM!

His complaint:  Kevin Rose, founder of Digg.com, has 77,701 followers on Twitter, and he follows only 120, because he's a big shot, while Guy Kawasaki of alltop.com is a great guy because he follows almost all of his 34,000 minions.

Me:  DO YOU HONESTLY THINK EITHER ONE OF THEM GIVES A HOO-HAW ABOUT YOU, "FRIENDED" OR NOT?  I don't think so.

Part of his statement:  "If you're gonna make it in social media -- if you're gonna help your business, help your personality --"

Me:  Wait -- stop right there.  "Gonna make it"?!  I am NOT playing Mary Tyler Moore here.  I am not trying to get on a TV show.  I am not trying to add to my Christmas list or get on some social media hall of fame or win a free phone.  In fact, on days like today I can't remember why I AM involved in social media, and I'm hip deep, my friends.

Him:  ". . . you gotta show them you care . . . "

Me:  I DON'T CARE!  I DON'T I DON'T I DON'T!

Him:  "I can't believe that anyone could be that arrogant and mean . . . "

Me:  You obviously have never seen Philadelphia sports fans.

Him:  "You don't have to be a Twitter jackass."

Me:  No, obviously it's fairly easy to be a YouTube Jackass instead.

Him:  "Just go get a second Twitter account."  [in order to follow your real-life friends exclusively]

Me:  Who the hell has that kind of time?  Following 6000+ people, and adding a second account?  WHAT IS THE GAIN?  Jeebus, all I want to do is find out what a few friends are up to, read the funny wisecracks from Merlin Mann, John Hodgman, Marcywrites and Bejewell and Mommypie and a few more, and leave smartass comments that I can't get away with in front of my children or at the office.  That's it!  No, I really don't want to know about your PMS.  No, I really don't care if this is your third glass of wine and does that make you a bad person?  Sorry, if this makes me a Twitter Snob, or a Social Media Reject, then so be it.  I claim it.  It also means NOTHING, because anyone who takes the time to reach out to me in a real way knows that I am not such a curmudgeon, not such a grump.  I just play one on TV.

And it's not "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," and I won't be throwing my hat.

Comments

[Fancy]

I can barely keep up on reading posts I follow on blogger. I have all but given up on both MySpace and Facebook - I won't even look into Twitter! Sorry, can't deal!

[MommyTime]

I love you for this. The kind of snob he describes is precisely the kind of person who is sane on Twitter. Why follow the crazy home "business" people who choose to follow you, just because they're hoping you'll follow back and then get bombarded by their daily tweets about some nutrition supplement you don't want to know anything about?

[Musing]

I guess I'm a semi-snob. I generally follow those who follow me, but I don't those who follow a bazillion people and only have a few following back, and I don't follow people whose tweets only consist of, "New blog post..."

[mommypie]

Oh Foolery. You've just demonstrated one of the many reasons I love you.

And I love Rick's idea about hooking up Perry and the Twitter Whore. THAT's a video I wanna see!

[Mental P Mama]

I'm a sorry addict. And it took my own children a week to 'friend' me.

[kristin]

Oh, I so agree with you. In fact. when I "meet" new people, I won't follow anyone who has a ridiculous amount of followers or followees.

Who has time for all that? I even "unfollow" people who tweet too much.

Like you. I want to leave and read smartass and snarky comments that I can't or won't say in real life.

[Suz Broughton]

I'm a Twitter "snob." This is exactly the type of person I don't want to follow.

[Major Bedhead]

Wait, John Hodgman is on Twitter? Must. Find.

I'm sort of a Twitter snob, too. I only follow people I have some sort of connection with.

[bejewell]

Wait a minute -- are you teling me that Imogen Heap and Barack Obama are NOT hanging on my every word? WTF? You mean all those tweets about my deep hatred for all things Goo Goo Doll and my excessive farting problem have fallen on deaf celebrity ears?

But I poured HOURS of deep thought into those tweets! I edited them, reworked them, erased and rewrote them countless times. Why, just yesterday I spent at least three hours composing that brilliant tweet about my stomach growling. I just KNEW that Guy Kawasaki's reply praising me for my cleverness and hilarity was right around the corner.

And now you're telling me that Guy doesn't CARE about my gross belly noises? THEN WHAT'S THE POINT?!

Thanks a LOT, Foolery.

Buzzkill.

[Bob Cleveland]

What's. Twitter?

Uh ... forget I asked.

I don't care. Kind of like the Circus Fat Lady's rear end. I know it's there, but I AIN'T GOIN' THERE!

[Kyddryn]

What is the point of "friending" someone with whom one is not even tenuously connected? If one is to "friend" complete strangers, then I believe I may define "friend" a wee differently than these networking sites.

As it is, I have become rather lax with MySpace, where the only people on my "friend" list are actually folks I know or (bless 'em) to whom I am related.

I don't twitter at all and can't be bothered with facebook.

However, I DO have a warning on the sidebar of my blog that points out my foul disposition and manners of a troll, so perhaps the gentleman in question will excuse me. If not, well...I will proudly proclaim my jackassery, secure in knowing I'm in good company.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

[Rick's Cafe]

Foolery, Foolery, Foolery.
Fool....Fool....Fool....

(Do you have any idea how hard it is to type like Ted Knight talks?)

Maybe this guy should get together with the Twitter Whore Mommy Pie highlighted last fall?

So what's Foolery doing RIGHT NOW? ...rolling out of bed wearing a smile? "Follow me"....yeah right, follow you down the hall to the ... - no thank you :)!

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Also, it just occurred to me that if I become addicted to twitter, facebook and blog I could call myself a Blog-Faced Twit.

Of course, here is Reason #38 to never comment before coffee. When will I ever learn...

[Meg]

Hmmm, I dunno. Barack Obama was following me on Twitter during his campaign. I'm thinking we'll be tweeting once he comes to town, too. He would've been so pissed if I blocked him. Don't wanna irk the future president and end up on some social media blacklist, now, do we?

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

I need to get on that Twitter bandwagon - I've been scared to check it out because I've already become a complete Facebook and blog addict, which leaves me no time for kids, work, cleaning house....Wait-- I think I'll go check it out now.