Help Me Settle This Argument

In my defense, I never said it wasn't ALL MY FAULT.

My friend Gubby and I have an ongoing argument. HA -- many ongoing arguments. But this one argument that keeps coming up is driving me a bit nuts, and maybe all y'all can weigh in for me.

About three years ago I got in a car accident, my first. No one was injured, and I didn't even get a ticket, but it was completely, 100%, inarguably MY FAULT. I shot across a busy intersection without having a clear view, in a split second, for no reason I can name, other than an instinctive reaction -- only I didn't make it. My right fender took out his left bumper in the middle of the worst intersection in Chico, two days before Thanksgiving. It happened just after lunch time, on my way back to the office, and his car had to be towed. My insurance covered it, of course, and the guy was either a mechanic or a body shop owner or both, so if anyone could fix the car, it would be him.

None of this is in contention.

What I didn't tell you was that the car was a Datsun 240-Z from the early '70s. The paint job was more primer than color, but otherwise the guy said it had never been in an accident, and he was crushed that his baby was damaged after three decades without Bondo.

(Photo stolen from this site)

The police showed up, of course, and questioned both of us. Things were very cordial, but the other driver was so upset about his car that he kept using words like "irreplaceable" and "pristine" and I finally couldn't take it any more. I was quietly shaking behind my dark glasses until the cop turned to me and asked a few questions. My voice broke and I burst into tears, right there on the side of the busy street with rubberneckers streaming by and everything. My throat hurt, I felt sick to my stomach, and the sun was hot so my feet got sweaty in my Fart Shoes, just to complete my misery.

The officer pulled me away from the others and looked me hard in the face.  "Are you okay?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I blubbered.  "I've just never done anything like this before, and it's so upsetting, and I feel so bad --"

"Yeah, well, he's laying it on a little thick," she said, to my surprise.  "You don't need to hear any of that.  Just stay over here until we're all through, okay?  It's gonna be okay.  That's why we have insurance.  That's why they call it an A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T."

GUBBY:  So, given the fact that we're coming up on the third anniversary of you wrecking this poor guy's car, I'm just curious: if you wreck MY car, will you make ME cookies, too?

ME:  FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WASN'T COOKIES, YOU BUTTHEAD!

GUBBY:  Whatever.  Look, you wrecked a classic car.  A '71 or '72 240-Z is one of the first front-engine 2-seater sports cars.

ME:  Yeah, I felt terrible, so what's your point?

GUBBY:  You wrecked his baby, then you showed up at his work with cookies to rub it in!

ME:  GAHHH!  It wasn't cookies, it was PUMPKIN BREAD!  And it was delicious!  And I worked hard on it, and I wasn't gonna do a striptease or something, so baked goods WOULD HAVE TO DO!

GUBBY:  This was a great car!  This wasn't Mantel Man's OldsmoPile, or something --

ME:  Mantel Man drove a Chevy Cadavalier.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

GUBBY:  Either way.  That Z was a classic.

ME:  Yeah, you said that, but you still didn't tell me why I shouldn't have taken him baked goods.

GUBBY:  Because, all it did was rub salt in the wound.  Then all of his friends in the shop got to see the "crazy bitch" who wrecked his car.  Didn't they all come out of the back room to have a look at you?

ME:  Yeah.

GUBBY:  They were probably telling him, "Don't eat it! Don't eat it!  It's poison!  She's probably trying to finish you off!"

ME:  You suck.

GUBBY:  He wasn't there, was he?

ME:  No.

GUBBY:  Didn't they all come out and look at you when you announced that you were the one who had hit his car?

ME:  You suck MORE.

GUBBY:  Did they all run out into the parking lot to move their cars before you drove away?

ME:  LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA

(Photo stolen from this site)

GUBBY:  If you kicked a guy in the balls, would you bring him cookies afterwards?

ME:  PUMPKIN BREAD!  PUMPKIN BREAD!  You have EATEN that pumpkin bread and LIKED IT, you big jerk!

GUBBY:  And you didn't even get a ticket!  You wrecked his car and you didn't get a ticket!  I'm surprised the woman cop didn't tase the poor bastard.  Maybe you should check on him and see if he's committed suicide.

ME:  Look, I think anybody would agree that I did a nice thing --

GUBBY:  Maybe Cagney and Lacey will give you a good driver award.

ME:  -- and I was just trying to make amends in a small way --

GUBBY:  Make amends?  MAKE AMENDS?  That was more like nah-nah nah-nahhhhh nahhh!  No wonder you're in advertising.  This thing got spun in your favor in a BIG way.

ME:  Oh, you exaggerate.  I should ask this as a question on my blog to see what people think.

GUBBY:  My brother thinks you're nuts!

ME:  Which one?  Never mind.  For bringing cookies? -- DAMN!  I mean -- pumpkin bread to the guy?  During the holidays?

GUBBY:  No, for thirty years they've both thought you were nuts, just because.  But yeah, also for bringing the guy pumpkin bread.

ME:  Okay, you guys.  Out there, reading this -- what do you think?  Was I wrong to take the guy a peace offering?  Did I just rub salt in the wound?  Or are Gubby and his brothers just a bunch of floaters who should be flushed?

Let me have it, I can take it.

GUBBY:  Well gee, after this, Laurie, maybe you could start teaching driving school.

(Photo stolen from this site)

ME:  You are SO off my Christmas baking list, Gub.

Comments

[Alias Liz Jones]

It would only have been wrong if you had of put Ex-Lax in the bread. I'm not sure...depending on his attitude. Maybe you should have made him some sourdough bread, cause them were some sour grapes for that poor man, Swams. At least you baked him something. I mean, you could have taken him a bowl of Raisin Brand. But you took the high road. Yes, I think that you did the right thing.
Love
Liz

[Da Goddess]

You did something nice and there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, you ran into his car. Guess what? Shit happens. And while a Datsun is hardly a Model T or a Bel Air, some guys are just babies when it comes to their cars.

As much as I love cars and appreciate how much they mean to some people, there has to be some sense of reason in there: the damage to the car wasn't that bad and both of you came out of the accident alive. Simple.

It is that simple, right?

[MommyTime]

Gubby is wrong wrong wrong. Pumpkin bread, especially good pumpkin bread, is an excellent gesture of apology. Then again, I am a woman who is not in love with my phallus-substitute car, so that makes me unlike the guy you hit, clearly. And in that regard, I cannot comment accurately. :)

[Roz]

Gubby is crazy! (I know he's your friend but still!)He may not LIKE the idea of you bringing the pumpkin bread to the guy but alleging that you were "rubbing it in" is crazy!

It was a very decent thing to do!

[foolery]

I think my work here is done. Thank you all for weighing in and granting me overwhelming support. Of course, since I wrote this post I would expect to get the good slant (even if the conversation WAS typed verbatim from my phone conversation with Gubby, and with his full knowledge and consent).

Gubby, when you start your blog (FINALLY) you may write up this story any way you choose and present it to your readers and I'll go along with it. But since your brothers already think I'm nutty, what would be the point?

Thanks everybody! Now I have some Spaghettios to go quietly put away.

Love,

Laurie

[mommypie]

Sorry Gubster, I'm with Laurie. It's not like she showed up with a can of Spaghettios with a bow on top. Sheesh.

Yeah, THAT? Would be bad.

[Rebeckah]

I think you might be the nicest person in the world. Pumpkin bread : ). That is sweet to the MAX!

[Steph]

Given that you couldn't undo the damage done to his...ahem...baby, I don't see what was wrong with making a conciliatory gesture of cooki...pumpkin bread.

Unless, of course, you actually uttered anything like "Neener neener neener, I didn't get a ticket, and you're a big doofy weiner" whilst delivering said baked goods.

[Dannan & The Girl]

The pumpkin bread was a very nice gesture, though apparently one which men who love their cars too much don't understand.

And if the guy didn't want to risk something happening to his precious, precious car, then it should be up on blocks somewhere and not on the streets!

[Jen @ blissfully caffeinated]

Ok, seriously? Can a Datsun ever really be considered a "classic?" I don't think so.

Don't feel bad that you wrecked some guy's primered POS. (Maybe I'm a little biased, having been in more than one car accident, all of which were *technically* my fault.)

But still.

Don't spend another second feeling bad about that guy's car.

[sher]

did someone use the words "datsun" and "classic" in the same breath? pullease. POS rodent car.

that guy was a shmoe for laying it on so thick at the accident scene. i really, really have no patience for accident-scene shmoes. DH and i actually willingly gave testimony because we witnessed a shmoe who hit a car that was stopped. an elderly couple was in that car, and he yelled and yelled and yelled at them, even though he was completely at fault.

while you were in the wrong in the accident, you were only trying to be a decent human being. which is more than the shmoe was at the scene.

oh, and i like pumpkin bread. no nuts though, please... not that i'm hinting or anything.

[Auds at Barking Mad]

I've only been in one accident before. I was in a Rite Aid parking lot and the Mayor's secretary and I were backing out at the same time and backed into one another. It was awful. My tank pretty much totaled her little Honda.

They were really nice about it, especially being that no one was hurt, not even so much as whiplash. But them being nice about it made it even worse. We were both found at fault. But I was still so mortified that I don't think I could have taken a peace offering in.

But come to think of it, I woulda been damn happy had she brought me some of her famous shortbread cookies.

You have some serious cajones Laurie. Especially to take a baked good in to a auto shop...with other gearheads standing around. I think just the effort alone is worthy of a medal, considering all the circumstances.

[Velma]

Flush 'em all. What else are you gonna do? You can't unwreck the car, and if you live in a small town a little gesture can go a long way to not getting dirty looks at the grocery store.

[foolery]

Have just a second to respond (more later) . . .

Yep, Marcy, you are SO right it was my fault. I told the cops it was my fault. I told the poor guy it was my fault. I totally deserved and expected the ticket, but never got one. Dunno why. And I was not trying to cry to get out of it -- DAMN! I didn't want to cry, but I did. And also? The guy was SO nice, he was just really sad.

So, no, I knew it wouldn't fix anything, but I was just trying to let him know I was not a complete creep. Just a partial creep. :)

Bring it on, guys -- I can take it! Gubby might cry, though; he's sensitive like that.

Ha ha ha ha ha

-- Laurie

[Marcy Massura-The Glamorous Life]

Okay here it is- you may not like it.

You TOTALLY deserved a ticket. And um, YEAH it was YOUR FAULT.

Okay with that said- I think pumpkin bread can fix anything and it was sweet of you to bring it. So Gubby LAY off. Or I am gonna have to come up there and woop your butt. But afterwords I will bring you some pumpkin bread. No worries

[Kyddryn]

Umm...it was a Z - it's not like a Model T or a Stingray or a Mustang or the Birdcage Maserati (Whew, now THAT'S a car!) , or a Pierce Arrow or a Ferrari Lusso (I want one of those when I'm reinCARnated in my next life) or a vintage Roller or something that can't be repaired or anything. Gee whiz! A freakin' Z, a dime a dozen (we have herds of them at the track all the time - sometimes they even smack into the wall or each other, and they never cry over it).

Pumpkin bread was too good for him. Maybe a pumpkin muffin, but a whole loaf? They weren't calling you crazy - they probably set up an altar in the back room just to worship you.

T begs to differ, but this is MY comment - he can find your blog and be contentious on his own.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

[KD @ A Bit Squirrelly]

Umm and early 70's Datsun is not a classic. Sorry I don't care what anyone says.

Okay now that I got that out of the way, whatever you tried to be nice. YOur friend is being mean. I would have appreciated the bread.

[barefootgypsy]

How can it be WRONG to do something so nice? You have a big heart. I wouldn't have had the guts.

Gubby, leave her alone. She's a sweet, caring, thoughtful girl.

[Ellie]

You win. Case closed.

[WaltzInExile]

I think perhaps my brain is fried, because I can't understand a word Gubby has said above, nor find anything at all wrong with what you did. Would I have done it? Um, no, but I don't bake. So any cook--uh, pumpkin bread I would make would definitely be adding insult to injured feelings. It's not like you ran over the man's dog or any other living thing?

Maybe there's a car gene you need to have for Gubby's opinion to make sense.

[all things BD]

I gotta go with Gubby on this one. I think you just have to walk away from that incident and let the man grieve in private. But I bet the bread tasted good!

[Meg]

Not wrong but certainly over and above. You can bring me pumpkin bread anytime!

There's something about cars though. I've been writing about them for two days. Can't seem to stop. Come on over and weigh in - tell me about your first car! I'll make you some cookies if you do.

[all things BD]

I gotta go with Gubby on this one. I think you just have to walk away from that incident and let the man grieve in private. But I bet the bread tasted good!

[Bob Cleveland]

After 50 years in the insurance business .. the kind that writes car insurance .. my view is entirely slanted that way. Which is, don't say or do anything that can be construed as and admission of guilt. Which would include baking some indeterminate substance and foisting it off on his co-workers.

On the other hand, as 50+ year sports car fan and general gearhead, I think a lifetime supply of Omaha Steaks would have been more appropriate.

[Mrs F with 4]

Should you have? Absolutely. Did he deserve it? No WAY. What a waste of delicious pumpkin bread. As you said, it was an Accident, not an On-Purpose.

[Mental P Mama]

Tough one. But I think your gesture was nice. No one was hurt. That's what's important, okay Gubby?

[Rick's Cafe]

The baked goods were a wonder peace offering! Specially considering the size of the town, that you might see this person again and would definately be running into people he knows, all make the effort more pronounced.

Sticking yourself out there for ridicule and abuse takes guts. This is also a reflection of your true beauty.

When you're in the midst of it, sometimes it is tough to remember that the teasing from loved ones is just them looking out for you, protecting you from being taken advantage of and getting hurt.

So given that, have you hugged your Gubby today?

I also think it would be an appropriate goodwill jester if you made cookies for all of your readers too!:)

[cow punk]

I have to agree this is a tough question and it's only 5:44 am so I'm just not sure. But, since I like you so much Swams, I'm on your side, plus I'd really like you to bake me some cooki, um I mean Pumpkin bread.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

I say flush.

I think it was a kind gesture. Do cookies--sorry, pumpkin bread-- make up for a wrecked baby of a car? No, but here's what I liken it to: If you accidentally injured someone and Someone goes to the hospital...of course you'd bring flowers or send a card or candy or whatever. It doesn't mean everything is better, but it shows you're thinking of the person, of the situation and that you care.

[MomZombie]

Oh, this is a toughie. I totally understand your intentions. I would want to do the same thing.
But after being on the totaled car end of an accident this summer, I doubt a home-baked cake from the other driver would have made me feel better. Now if you'd showed up with a cake with a new car baked inside it, well that would have been a different story.
Great post by the way!