After reading (and essentially reposting) Auds' wonderful story about vacuuming up her own hair Tuesday, and after telling four people the story to share the joy, I have a similar tale to share. This comes from my real-life friend Ms. Boz (Not Her Real Name, Nor Is She Any Relation To Boz Skaggs). To give you a good mental picture, I have provided some photos. Also, Ms. Boz is very tall and willowy with long wavy hair.
When I was a freshman in college, I found myself in one of those "can't believe this is really happening" instances. I had waist-length "hippy" hair in those days like many other young women. One day another girl and I were running copies on one of those mimeograph machines. In those days those machines were used to duplicate, rather than the modern copiers we have today.
Just kidding, Boz. Well, sort of kidding. (Original photo stolen from these guys)
Anyway, as the machine was running, I bent down for some reason and realized that the ends of my hair on one whole side of my head started wrapping themselves around one of the drums. As the drum kept running, more and more of my hair was disappearing inside of it. I was so horrified that I couldn't talk, but finally managed to scream "TURN IT OFF" as my head became plastered against the side of the machine. My friend shut off the machine just as it began to tug on my scalp.
There was a class going on next door with a glass wall separating the two rooms. Thirty faces appeared behind that glass and amongst all of the horrified comments of the students, I could hear one voice loud and clear, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GIRLS TO TIE YOUR HAIR BACK?" The teacher in that class was yelling and bawling me out. Not one bit of sympathy. Here I was bent over with my cheek plastered against the mimeograph machine listening to that crap. Then she started yelling, "JUST CUT IT. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SCISSORS?" I started yelling back, "YOU'RE NOT CUTTING MY HAIR" and demanded that they call campus security. When I think about it today, that was pretty comical, in the position I was in. They ended up calling some repair and maintenance guys to come and take the machine apart.
I ended up with half of my hair in a big tangled greasy mess, but I got to keep my hair.
Again, just kidding, Boz. You have beautiful hair. (Original photo stolen from these guys)
Then I had to listen to the teacher's "I told you so" comments for the rest of the semester. It actually could have ended really badly and the machine could have scalped me.
Which is why to this day, everyone uses photocopiers. The end.
Just messing with you, Ms. Boz. Thank you for this hair-raising story. Yeah, I know; I'm a HARE BRAIN.
How DO you suppose Meatloaf got his hair out of HIS mimeograph machine?