My Dad Is Weird

My dad is weird.

This is not news to some of you, I know.  But I feel like giving away a few (safe) secrets tonight.  Besides, I owe him some payback after he made me chase cows in a skirt and heels.

Well, there's a good place to start: tonight.  Dad is not home tonight, nor has he been home for about two weeks, and why?  Because he wanted to go on vacation.  Where did he go? you ask -- I can hear you, you know.  Well, I'll tell you; he went to St. Martin in the Caribbean.  But Mom did NOT go.  The last time they were there, Dad announced his wish to return this summer, but Mom was having NONE of it.  "It's too hot here in the summer, and you refuse to turn on the air conditioner!" she said to him.  "You can come back by yourself."

"Okay, I will," said Dad. He is there for three weeks by himself, with no air conditioner, no car, no phone, no wife, and no camera.  He has four books and a bathing suit.  Hey, you know, that actually doesn't sound so weird . . .

NO NO NO!  Dad is WEIRD.  I promise.

(Photo stolen from Just_Tom on Flickr)

For example, while the kids and I were on our weekend getaway with my parents, we all had breakfast at Schat's Bakkery in Bishop, California.  We ate our ridiculously delicious and fattening gut bombs outside on the patio.  Dad sat happily munching his donut, gazing at the bakkery sign.  "The Dutch have too many Ks," he announced.  "They have to use them up, so they stuff extra Ks into their words," he said.  I watched him to see where this was going.  He pressed on.  "It's like how the French have all those extra Ts," he continued, on a roll now.  "They just hang them onto the ends of their words.  If they didn't, they'd probably have a lot of Ts lying all over the ground."  I stared at him.

"What?" he demanded, as if I had been the one to shatter the peace with some insane proclamation.

"I don't know who's weirder, Dad -- you for the crazy stuff you come up with, or me because I COMPLETELY understand your line of thinking."

Gubby teases me that Dad has a secret family that he's visiting.  I think Dad's done enough damage to the gene pool already.

Comments

[mommypie]

Sounds like your dad and my dad would get along famously. HA!

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

OK. That's it. I need to meet--and possibly marry--your Dad.

A vacation to a tropical island without family? Alone? With only yourself to consider? Did I just hear someone say "heaven?"

Weird is just relative, you know. Weird is RELATIVES but it is also relative.

[Aliaz Liz Jones]

I'm really jealous of that vacation. Your father sounds delightful. Swams, I also had to chase cows a few times. So, I say that it's normal to say that he's weird. I felt the same way about my father as I chased wayward cattle.
Love
Alias Liz

[Anthony]

From the sound of it he's a genius!

[Auds]

Hailing from good Dutch stock as I do, I completely agree with your dad! And my hubby, being British nods in agreement on the French and their damned T's!

Your dad and his complete randomness rocks!

[Mantel Man]

I've never heard that story before, but I actually wrote something similar in an on-line magazine article about a performance of Jan Sibelius, the Finnish composer:

"The Finns must have invaded Poland and made off with half of their vowels."

It seems the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. Darn it.

[Jason]

Do ALL daughters say their dad is weird?

The only alternative to weird is normal. And that is not nearly as much fun!!!

[KD (A Bit Squirrelly)]

My dad has some "Dumb Dave" stories that I must record him telling one of these days...I think our dad's would get along.

[MommyTime]

Well, I think the Dutch just have too many consonants all together and need to get together with some people who are overrun with vowels. Russians? I'm not sure. Anyway, I get your dad's point too...

[bighairenvy]

Perhaps Dad has just discovered the best way to maintain a healthy marriage. VACATION ALONE!

[Rick's Cafe]

Would have loved to see the cocktail dress and stilettos, but I was on vacation....down in the Caribbean. hmmmmmm?!

[Mental P Mama]

I think your Dad is brilliant. Really.

[Debbie]

I love your Dad! Truly enjoy being around this type of person who just throws out random stuff...kind of like his daughter LOL!!

I'm also getting the vacation alone too!!! On a beach in St. Martin...yeah, I could go for it :)