My dad is weird.
This is not news to some of you, I know. But I feel like giving away a few (safe) secrets tonight. Besides, I owe him some payback after he made me chase cows in a skirt and heels.
Well, there's a good place to start: tonight. Dad is not home tonight, nor has he been home for about two weeks, and why? Because he wanted to go on vacation. Where did he go? you ask -- I can hear you, you know. Well, I'll tell you; he went to St. Martin in the Caribbean. But Mom did NOT go. The last time they were there, Dad announced his wish to return this summer, but Mom was having NONE of it. "It's too hot here in the summer, and you refuse to turn on the air conditioner!" she said to him. "You can come back by yourself."
"Okay, I will," said Dad. He is there for three weeks by himself, with no air conditioner, no car, no phone, no wife, and no camera. He has four books and a bathing suit. Hey, you know, that actually doesn't sound so weird . . .
NO NO NO! Dad is WEIRD. I promise.
(Photo stolen from Just_Tom on Flickr)
For example, while the kids and I were on our weekend getaway with my parents, we all had breakfast at Schat's Bakkery in Bishop, California. We ate our ridiculously delicious and fattening gut bombs outside on the patio. Dad sat happily munching his donut, gazing at the bakkery sign. "The Dutch have too many Ks," he announced. "They have to use them up, so they stuff extra Ks into their words," he said. I watched him to see where this was going. He pressed on. "It's like how the French have all those extra Ts," he continued, on a roll now. "They just hang them onto the ends of their words. If they didn't, they'd probably have a lot of Ts lying all over the ground." I stared at him.
"What?" he demanded, as if I had been the one to shatter the peace with some insane proclamation.
"I don't know who's weirder, Dad -- you for the crazy stuff you come up with, or me because I COMPLETELY understand your line of thinking."
Gubby teases me that Dad has a secret family that he's visiting. I think Dad's done enough damage to the gene pool already.