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June 03, 2008


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Mary Alice

"We eat until we're tired"

Are you sure we aren't cousins?


"Omitting Oil of Old Age from my Las Vegas daily skin regimen, however, results in a head shrunken as small as a chihuahua's."

BAHAHA! Between this and the explosive McD's diarrhea you're killin' me.

MP and I will be taking a 20-hour (roundtrip) road trip in a few weeks with MY dad. Yes sir, THAT'll be a time.


Glad to see you back, and I'm glad you had a good trip! I've missed reading your posts. :)


Hi everybody,

So nice to be back, and to have such great comments and friends -- yes, I said FRIENDS, durnit! -- to come home to. Thanks for all who visited while I was visiting my family, and, um, NOT visiting my blog.

Maria, MT, Miss Adither -- I can see from the comments that there are a lot of us who deal with the "blog friends" issue with our families. Some day they'll get it (the teenagers already do, since they have MySpace and such).

M.P.Mama, you bring the vodka, I'll bring the gin!

"Oil of Delay" -- I like that. Must incorporate; thanks MT. :)

Hi David! Great to see you again -- I'm coming by, I swear! As soon as I wash these dishes . . .

Kyddryn, you live in the land of humidity; I doubt you need much moisturizer. The wind out here sucks any possible humidity out of the air (and it's WAY worse in the desert SW).

MamaMo, the more people who say IckDonalds, the better. Actually, Sparky called it that when she was three, so she deserves the credit.

Sarah, my brother Mantel Man would have turned to the skinny chick and said (LOUDLY and with horror), "You mean you STOPPED EATING?! Good God, who told you to do that?!" And I'm NOT kidding, either.

Miss Crayons, how in the world can you not have NPR in DC?! You can stream it, you know. If you stream from kcho.org you can hear my home station (and laugh). :)

Fawn, I am so mad at myself that I screwed that up! The thing that makes it so stupid is that we had a 20-minute conversation about it in the car as we drove by, resulting in my mom The Reference Goddess consulting her driving map for about 10 different mountain heights. There was one small argument but that's not important. Crud, I can be dense.

Dear Madeline Kahn, I may be going to So. Cal. in July. I will give you advance warning. I'll e-mail you, too -- hope your family are well and that you are sleeping now.

Miss Petunia, you are very close, except for the cranky children part -- they were angels 95% of the time, no kidding. They're great travelers.

Thanks all of you -- you are so much fun, I can't begin to tell you. Now to go write something!

-- Laurie

Cactus Petunia

Oh my. So many visuals in that post! I'm picturing a jittery, 357 year old woman with a shrunken head like a chihuahua wedged in the back seat of a car between two cranky children, popping Jolly Ranchers like valium. Oh, wait...maybe I'm confusing that scene with one in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas".

Chesapeake Bay Woman


FOOLERY: You are NEVER allowed to (a) go anywhere without access to your blog and (b) disrupt my daily routine of coming here and starting my day off right EVER AGAIN.

Things got so out of kilter, I have just returned from two marathon days in the ER with my son. He's fine. Mother, not so much.


By the way, in my haste to THANK THE STARS ABOVE FOR YOUR RETURN TO BLOG LAND, I neglected to thank you for the references in these posts which I have not even had time to read yet because I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE BACK!!!

No more trips OK?


Oh, I did read enough of this one to know we are definitely twins. I use Oil of Old Age, too. They didn't have that in the hospital. I look like a prune. Also, Johnsons Baby Shampoo plus no conditioner = MADELINE KAHN frizzy hair. And my hair is usually straight as a poker.



Hahaha - loved this post!

I'm going to be extremely geeky, though (and probably more than a little annoying) and point out that Mount Whitney is not the highest mountain in North America; it IS the highest mountain in the contiguous U.S. states. The highest mountain on the continent is Mount McKinley in Alaska. :P I know, how lovable did I just make myself?


Road trips are for CRAZY people!

I hate that we don't get NPR here anymore - and I'm in the freaking DC area for crying out loud!!!

Glad you survived!

Ok, Where Was I?

That's funny. We also eat until we're tired--or until it runs out. What a damper it was for our little gathering this weekend to brink along a skinny chic from the other side of the family who kept commenting on how much food everyone was eating--like, "Oh, is it time to eat again?"


So many valuable lessons to carry you through life - what a successful trip!
Sounds like I need to get me some Oil of Delay/Old Age!
And "ickDonald's" - that describes PERFECTLY how I feel about that place. I'm going to start using that, and when people ask me where I got that expression from, I'm going to tell them a friend from CA taught it to me. :-)

All Adither

I'm often starting sentences with, "This blogger I really like said..." It's a little humiliating. But I can't help myself.

Jessica Keith

Hey, at least none of the playlands still have those disgusting ball pits. They would have just shifted the balls around and pretended the poopy never happened. Maybe that's what the mysterious black substance covering the balls is?
I've never heard Oil of Old Age either. Lol. I use NuSkin tinted moisurizer, but I wonder why I bother. I don't think the humidity here is ever lower than 80%. That should be enough moisture for anybody.
Oh, and your brother can cook me dinner anytime!
Glad you're back!

Grandma J

Oh, one more thing....I told my son-in-law that one of my friends was in Vegas. He ask me who? and I tell him it's a blogger friend. My daughter clarifies it for him by explaining it's not a real friend, like someone I've actually ever met! Then my son-in-law says, "Oh like an imaginary friend?"

Grandma J

That dry desert air can suck every last drop of moisture out of every cell in my body. Even my hands could use some Oil of Old Age when I venture into the desert.
When I travel, especially by car, it's flip flops. Actually, I live in flip flops. If I go somewhere fancy (mostly in my dreams) I wear flip flops with a slightly raised heal! Nothing but class here. Nice to have you back.


Welcome home, darlin'.

I Spy is kin to twenty questions, after a few million rounds. Dramamine cures many ills.

I know what you mean, re: blogs - I talk about the blogs I read and get eye rolls and sighs of exasperation. Oh, well...not my fault they don't get it because they are losers who go to movies and out to dinner and interact with their families and stuff.

I never leave home without at least a wee dram of my favorite lotion - I won't use beauty products, but I will not tolerate the lizard skin my hands get when they are dry! So my face may look like a leather handbag, but my hands are smooth and soft. Priorities.

We've made the trip up the east coast enough times to know where the good play places are, so we can stop and let the Evil Genius run free for a while. While I don't aprove of fast food in general, I give kudos to McD's, BK, and Chick-fil-A (really, they spell it that way, and it makes me itch) for putting those germ spreading devices in. My little town doesn't have a park, but we have three plastic, enclosed, climate controlled play areas to choose from (if we don't mind the grease and the rude fucks who think it's OK to bring their sick children out in public without changing a nappy or bringing a Kleenex along).

Next time you want to get your dad out of the blast zone in a hurry, tell him there's a nickel on the ground beside his car door. That oughta do it. What? It works on my older male relatives - something about the depression or WWII or whatever those old guys mumble about on a regular basis...

Dinner looks good - when do we eat?

One pair of Crocs will cover a multitude of occasions. I've even worn mine to a black tie event and gotten away with it!

OK, I'll stop with the point-by-point. Nice to have you home!

Shade and Sweetwater,


Laughed my tail off all thru this.
Oil of old age is a new one on me, thanks for sharing this post, I so loved it


Yes, I knew someone who used to call it Oil of Delay. Either way, it's Oil of Required in my suitcase. As for quoting bloggers -- sigh -- no one gets me, but I do it anyway. :)

Mental P MamaM

Oh that is good. Oil of Old Age...Ickland...explosive diarrhea...desert air...jolly ranchers for lunch....

Now I feel like I could use a big vodka.


Oh, this is SO true, so true...every one (except my husband who UNDERSTANDS me) gives me weird looks when I say things like "So, bossy says that...." or "katherine from NC has a beautiful kitchen...well, I've never seen it..."
And yes, ALWAYS more clothes on the way back..even if it's for a weekend...
I have a beautiful story about my dear friends (she's a Real Life Friend) child who decided to TAKE OFF HIS FULL DIAPER in Playland. She laughed when some kid walked by muttering "Poopy Playland..." and then she slowly stopped laughing, expressed horror, and jumped up to go get her son. In her heart she just KNEW. Can you say "Playland Closed" and "Disinfectant"?

Enjoyed your post. Perhaps not as much as you enjoyed just getting home!

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