20 Questions is a useful game to keep your children occupied and engaged.
20 Questions is from THE DEVIL.
A W.C. is the very noisy predecessor to the modern-day toilet and was replaced because everyone within a three-block area could tell when you went to the bathroom. At least that's true of our friend Joe's W.C. (we visited Joe on the way to Las Vegas).
I can survive 101 hours without NPR. I cannot easily survive 1 1/2 hours of my father's Motel 6 channel surfing of news talk shows.
I say, "This woman whose blog I read . . ." and "A friend of mine in Virginia -- well, SORT OF a friend . . ." more than I ought to for my family's comfort.
Oil of Old Age can occasionally be omitted from my at-home daily skin regimen (which consists of: Oil of Old Age) while at home, with slightly taut and shiny skin as the result. Omitting Oil of Old Age from my Las Vegas daily skin regimen, however, results in a head shrunken as small as a chihuahua's.
Lubriderm hand lotion, while it works great for hands, is a second class substitute for Oil of Old Age.
Try not to forget the Oil of Old Age.
No matter how much college you had, it hurts when your 7-year-old dumbs down her I Spy game "so Mama can win one, too."
Playland at IckDonald's is a favorite of children everywhere -- even children with explosive diarrhea.
Trying to get my father to leave a rapidly deteriorating Playland eating/breathing space, in anything resembling a "hurry," is just a bit easier than convincing a presidential candidate to pack it in.
Taking a photo of the beautiful salmon dinner your brother cooked will get you a contemptuous frown and will slow the eating process. Plus, the picture will likely suck.
Eating is a competitive sport in my family. We don't eat until we're full; we eat until we're tired.
Trying to get to the bottom of your brother's wine collection seems like such a good idea, until you do.
"More coffee" is the answer to most morning ailments, other than jittery nerves.
The A.M.A.-recognized method to determine your real age involves five children eight and under, and a two-story house. I am 357 years old.
The desert air is good for the soul. It is not good for the hairdo, and that is why there are no photos of yours truly from my Las Vegas vacation.
Three pairs of shoes seemed like a good idea, but I could have made the trip with only one. (This statement is non-transferable with intimate items of clothing, Dad.)
Mt. Whitney is the tallest mountain in North America, but by only a matter of feet. We think we saw Whitney 17 times.
Gas in Death Valley was $5.80/gallon. THANK GOD, because I was really in need of a reason NOT to move to Death Valley.
Jolly Ranchers, while good for the teeth and the Body Mass Index, are a poor substitute for protein. Pity. Ah, well, that's why God created Peanut M&Ms.
No matter how much you left home with, you'll always return with MORE. Especially if the one person packing the car doesn't know the difference between the host's 8-year-old's presents and your 5-year-old's presents. Or your host's briefcase. Or anything else accidentally left too close to the front door.
And the winner of the coveted Silliest Name For A Business Award goes to: Giggle Springs gas station and mini mart. It was a double winner, also taking home the prize for Most Aptly-Named Stop on the 2008 Sweaty Car Odyssey.