I am a New Media Douchebag.
I've tried to avoid it, but couldn't. Then I denied it, like this: "How could I, who don't even have a CELL PHONE, fer cryin' out loud, be a New Media ANYTHING?!" but that didn't hold water. Lately I've been explaining it, and sometimes even defending it, but there's no way around it:
I am a New Media Douchebag.
First, you should watch this video to understand (I've posted it before, but I'm shameless, so I'm posting it again):
(I have a YouTube account just so you know.)
Once upon a time I joined an on-line Zooropa forum, which was fun, but which erupted in catfights way too often, and the place was eventually shut down in favor of a moderated site with an annual membership fee. Bye-bye.
Of course I needed a photo account, so I got three -- ImageStation, Photoworks and Shutterfly. Do I actually do anything with my digital photos anymore? Not really.
After that I joined MySpace, first in the guise of a loaf of french bread, and then as a version of myself. Eventually I added another fantasy character who cracked wise a lot and was all about bad perms and cheap wine. Maybe I should amend the word "fantasy" there. Well, so, if I had a MySpace site I definitely needed Photobucket and Snapvine accounts, so of course, I set those up, too.
But on MySpace I was a victim of other people's content, and I'm somewhat of a control freak, so I started a blog. (Yes, I know, you can blog on MySpace, but very few people read it when I did, most preferring the glitter graphics which read Have An Awesome Day, BFF! or You're Purrrrrrfect or I'm Not Wearing Any Underwear or stuff like that.)
So my friend -- and when I say friend I can only mean GUBBY -- talked me into getting a Pownce account. For large file sharing. You know, photos and audio and video and all of the things I DON'T do since I started writing. But, okay, I have a Pownce account.
Of course it didn't end there.
Since starting a blog I have added Statcounter, Twitter, Google Adsense, Pandora and Lijit. I have a Technorati authority and I don't even know what that is. Sites that I have joined but lost interest immediately include LinkedIn, Buy a Blogger, Reunion.com, and several that I can't even remember. I've tried to start Skitch but can't because of a needed upgrade that I don't see happening because I'm lay-hay-hay-hazy, and Disqus requires the Cadillac custom blog, which I'm sorry but I'm just NOT going to pay for. At this time, ahem.
(Logo stolen from jcsizmadi on Flickr)
So yes, Gubby, I am a New Media Douchebag, and it's all your fault. Happy?
At least I didn't write that in 140 characters or fewer.
Oh lawdy, you're crackin' me up this weekend.
I am SO stealing this and re-posting it -- because I'm a NMD too, and I have NO IDEA how in da heal it happened.
And now, you're PLURKING!! (Which has me totally lost, btw.)
Posted by: mommypie | June 07, 2008 at 10:56 PM
Not returning phone calls? Yup. That's me. Its gotten to that point, yes it has. But I still don't text. I guess I'm a semi-literate new media doucebag.
Posted by: phd in yogurtry | June 06, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Wha-huh?
Picture me in NJ with a Scooby-Doo look of confusion on my face.
Better a New Media douchebag than a New Media dunce.
Posted by: The Mom Bomb | June 06, 2008 at 06:02 PM
Guilty as charged. New Media Douchebag here.
Posted by: Chris | June 05, 2008 at 10:06 PM
I'm sorry...I'm still stuck on the fact that you don't have a cell phone. I thought I held out for a long time, and I've had a cell phone for at least 7. How do you do it?
Posted by: Jason | June 05, 2008 at 08:35 PM
I loved the title and the post cracked me up. I do recall your cell phone abstinence as I also travel through life sans any attachment to my hip or ear (non-functioning as they are). I blog period and belong to no other club. I did look into Google ad sense and for the life of me could not figure out how it worked or if it worked.
Thanks for this btw.
Posted by: david | June 05, 2008 at 08:54 AM
HYSTERICAL!! I'm so glad you re-posted your New Media Douchebag or I never would have seen it.
No cell phone? I got rid of my home phone three years ago and never missed it for one second! The only local calls I made where to call in sick at work (which I did at 4 a.m. so I wouldn't have to talk to my boss), or to order a pizza. Without any long distance calls, my bill was still almost $40 a month...mostly basic fees and taxes and more taxes. Free yourself up, get a cell phone (you can keep your current phone number) and always have your "home phone" with you! Gawd, aren't you glad I just hyjacked your blog? I am such a New Media Douchebag...with a cherry on top.
Posted by: Grandma J | June 05, 2008 at 07:59 AM
I keep going on to Twitter's home page and then closing it. It's like I've been smoking dope and someone just handed me meth. I don't know how I'll be able to stop b/c I'm already not able to keep up with blog reading. My goal, of course, is to read ever post in my reader everyday. Right now it's at 251. That's reasonable, right? So what will happen when I add twitter to that?
Posted by: Ok, Where Was I? | June 05, 2008 at 07:34 AM
Oh, that's funny. I can't possibly qualify, because even though I have a billion online accounts (of which I use three) I don't use any of them for spreading Hatorade. I don't complain or read people that do. :) I get enough of that talking to my FAMILY!!
The three internet accounts that I haven't used since I signed up for them: Facebook, Twitter, RockYou. Totally useless.
Posted by: Jessica Keith | June 05, 2008 at 07:28 AM
I love this post -- but honestly, the title has me cracked up the most. May I also suggest cre8Buzz and several mom blog networks obviously belong in your constellation of NMDbaggery? Just trying to be helpful.
Personally, my problem is not all these accounts -- I have only the few I feel are *necessary* (ahem.) My problem is that once I start reading things in my reader, I lose whole days worth of time without even knowing it. I should only be allowed to have a pen and paper before 8pm every day. If only I weren't teaching an online class this summer, that might work...
Posted by: MommyTime | June 05, 2008 at 06:48 AM
Excellent post. And very comforting to me...I see know that I am fairly normal when it comes to all these 'things' we do on-line....
Posted by: Marcy Massura-The Glamorous Life | June 05, 2008 at 06:29 AM
Are you going to run a regular English language version of this post for those of us who HAVE NO CLUE what you're talking about?!!
You may be into "New Media", but you, my dear, are NO douchebag.
Posted by: MamaMo | June 05, 2008 at 05:48 AM
New media scares me, but I had no idea how much until I read this. The only thing I recognize in your list is MySpace, which I tried to join once and got so flustered and confused I burst into tears. They send me messages daring me to come back and threatening to blow up my computer if I do.
I'm definitely in the Old School Media Club.
Or is that just the OLD Club?
Posted by: Chesapeake Bay Woman | June 05, 2008 at 05:07 AM
I'll see all those, and raise you by a flickr.
Posted by: Mental P MamaM | June 05, 2008 at 03:31 AM