Wrapping Up the Week With Some Ass-Hattery

BRRRRRRING!

Okay, phones don't really sound like that any more, but stick with me.

BRRRRRRING!

Checks caller ID . . . ahh, it's Gubby.  Must've forgotten something.  So I say . . .



"Well, hello, Laur!"  Chuckle chuckle.

Oh crap.  Not Gubby.  So Not Gubby.  To illustrate, allow me to share with you the EXACT text from the e-mail I just sent Gubby:

You have to change your cell phone number.

I just answered the phone in a very cheeky way because I thought it was you calling me back . . .

. . . and it was Nick Asshat.

'Cause I write like a loser, even in my e-mails, yes, yes I do (ask Gubby).  And now, please note the answer I just got back from Gubby, my FRIEND, Gubby:

        Haaaaaaaa

        Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

        Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

With a friend like Gubby, who need enemies?  Especially enemies with a cell phone ONE NUMBER OFF -- no, well, it's more like THREE NUMBERS OFF, which is CLOSE ENOUGH when you're NOT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION -- from NICK ASSHAT'S CELL NUMBER.

And tell me, how is it that a husband will risk exposing his poor, poor wife to all manner of telephone asshattery just to keep his asshat golf partner?

Somehow this is all Mr. Foolery's fault.  When he gets home I'm gonna blame him.

Comments

[wrekehavoc]

thanks for the direction! it's crystal now... well, as crystal as any of our relationships can be, anyway :-)

[Jason]

I SO do not understand this post. I have read it three times ago and I still don't get it. I'm sorry; I'm kind of stupid. But I think asshattery is a funny word!

[foolery]

I could, but you can't read.

[Gubby]

Ok, OK, OK, I almost have the Nick Asshat thing down. Could you draw a venn diagram for further clarification.
Thanks, Gubby

[annbb]

I love your site....I do not understand the whole Nick thing. Must go read your archives!

[foolery]

Hey Miss Wreked!

I guess I haven't given a great explanation, so here's a sort of time line:

~ met Nick when we both worked at a gift store (I thought he was dreamy, swoon)
~ Nick got married
~ I bought the store where we had worked
~ Nick separated, came to my store to ask me out, swoon
~ we dated very casually 4 months before things got more serious (for ME, anyway) and only THEN did I find out he was a raging alcoholic
~ Nick introduced me to his good friend Chas
~ Nick cheated on me, it was OVER
~ I asked Chas out because we had really clicked
~ Chas and I have been together since 1994, married 10 years
~ Nick is one of a large group of Chas's old college friends, so we see him at weddings and parties
~ Nick is one of Chas's golf partners, and he calls to arrange tee times

I'm friendly to him when he calls, but I avoid him if I can. Does this help?

-- Laurie

[wrekehavoc]

ok, i need direction. i started to read other posts about nick asshat to find out how he is still in the picture, and i am confooosed. it's a little weird asking such personal questions to a person i have just "met", so i hope you'll forgive...

i read as far as your dating the then-married nick asshat (and i'm guessing you weren't married at that point ;-)... how is it that he's still in your life? did you meet your husband through him?

(and are you rolling on the floor laughing at this theory? ;-)

[david]

I love to answer the phone when it is indeed a blatant solicitor (usually comes up with private name/private number0 Being deaf I just launch into a "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
the solicitors are slowly going away.
great post as always

[MommyTime]

My favorite phrase here is "all manner of telephone asshattery" -- excellent.

P.S. I keep forgetting to tell you: $1 coming your way. You know why. ;)

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Bleme? Sure, go ahead and bleme them. But don't forget to BLAME them.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Yes, please do. They are to bleme for everything.

The End.

p.s. Love how you wove "cheeky" into the story! I think it's my new favorite word.

[Mental P Mama]

I hate it when that happens. They need to make the font bigger. I will buy stock in the first company that figures out people over 40 need to see the screen too!