My Sad Pathetic Little Book Meme

There are a lot of interesting memes out there, and this one is among the most thoughtful and lofty.  So why on earth would darling Miss MommyPie think that I am up to the task?  I am nothing if not a plebe.  Still, I love to go on and on about myself . . . so here’s what I came up with.

1. List three books you’ve always meant to read, but haven’t gotten around to reading.

I'm kind of a Cat in the Hat person, so the pool of unread candidates I have to select from is breathtaking.  The ones that stick out are Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and Henry David Thoreau's Walden.  I have had the last two on my shelf for decades -- even took Siddhartha on a long plane trip.  Nothing.  Why?  I'm shallow, lazy, and dim.  Couldn't pull the trigger.  Also, anything that comes highly recommended is likely to be a huge disappointment to me, which is mostly because of my own failings.  I guess I just don't want to be that person, and slogging through such culturally cherished works would only solidify my standing as Dumbass #1.

2. Share the two books that changed your life.

Everything I read changes my life!  Well, almost everything.  Few things are as good as a well-written cereal box, but there are two that really stand up and shout, "Oooooh!  Oooooh!  Pick me!  Pick me!"  The first is Jane Eyre, but maybe not for the reasons that it's on most everyone else's list.

I was enjoying Jane Eyre.  My grandmother had given me a boxed set of two Brontë sisters' books, the other being, of course, Wuthering Heights.  Though my reading time in college was limited, I found the book compelling enough to get 2/3 through.  And then my class schedule caught up with me, and the book, by necessity, was tabled for a while.  For a few weeks.  For the summer.  Forever.  It's not that I didn't like it, it's that I cannot go back to something I've tabled -- even my own writing.  I've learned to get it out, get it all out, or I'll lose interest and it will be OVER before it's barely begun.  Shallow?  Of course.  Know thyself.  I do.

But my grandmother didn't.  She would check in with me to find out how Jane Eyre was coming along.  Stupidly, I told her.  I may as well have admitted to burying Jimmy Hoffa in my back yard, because you can't believe the fuss she put up.  "I just cannot imagine how you could put that book DOWN!" she'd snap.  Laurie in her early 20s was all about placating Grandma and being honest while being positive.  If I had it all to do over I'd lie through my teeth and say, "Well, I read half of it, but it kinda sucked, and now I want to start over and read it all the way through, annotating it in the margins exactly how and why it sucks."  This would be a bold-faced lie, but it would have gotten her off my back.  I did get my first insight into my grandmother's gifts that came with strings attached.  Lesson learned the hard way.

The other book that changed my life was John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath.  Because of his stark portrayal of a side of America that no one wanted to see?  No.  Because of Steinbeck's gift of painting a realistic and gritty portrait of his characters?  No.  It's because I couldn't wait to be done with the Joad family.  Ugh.  The whole lot of them.  And what did the book teach me?  That I will probably dislike whatever I'm supposed to like, and I take full responsibility.  And that's okay.  (As a comparison, I LOVED Of Mice And Men, To Kill a Mockingbird, and The Tortilla Curtain, and I HATED God's Little Acre.) 

3. Recommend the one book you’ve been talking about since the very first day you’ve read it.

I'll give you two.  The first one is the "grown-up" book:  John Irving's The Water Method Man.  While it is certainly outrageous and comedic, and not one of Irving's heralded works (it was one of his first novels, of which I've read almost all), there are many layers, and I always find something I had forgotten when I reread it.  I can't count how many times I have read it.  Boob loop!

The second is probably my favorite book of all time, even though it is a children's book: The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster.  This treasured book slyly employs nearly archaic expressions, often manifested as people or places (the Island of Conclusions; it's very easy to get there -- you just jump! -- but it's very difficult to get back); it is also generally wise, witty and charming.  This book is the single best example of mastery of the double entendre that I can name.  I can't wait for my daughters to be old enough to read it.  And the illustrations by artist Jules Feiffer have the rare dual qualities of being both spare and lush.

I could fill a book listing all the great books I have not read and probably never will, now that my little obsession with reading and writing blogs has laid claim to my dance card.  Some day I will pick up the habit again, but for now, I have so much to do right here, I just don't know when I'll have the time.

Comments

[foolery]

Meeting and exceeding my expectations as always, dear Not Snorphty.

[I am NOT Snorpht FingerPoot.]

Just keepin ya on yer toes there TeeHaas South 40.

[All Adither]

Classics suck. The end.

[Jason]

WHAT? The Phantom Tollbooth is your favorite book of all time? I think it just might be mine, too! It is brilliant. I've been tagged for this same meme, too. I hope I can do as well as you have!

One book nobody should ever, ever read: Crime and Punishment

[stephanie]

Phantom Tollbooth is sheer brilliance, agreed. I used it when I taught middle school and I read it to my kids as soon as they could sit still.

I was a little bummed at how curmudgeonly Norton Juster behaved when we hosted him at Barnes & Noble one time; hoping it was just a bad day...

P.S. I'm an English major & lit teacher and have never actually read Moby Dick...Sometimes the classics are a touch overrated, and life is just too short.

[Oprah FingerPoot]

Well, I've been busy but had to stop in and check if all my little ChickiePoos here are all still nice and moist.

[HOT DAMN! WE'VE GOTTA GET THAT BLOG WENCH A LIFE. SHE'S EDITING ALL OVER THE PLACE AGAIN! BUT UNTIL SHE GETS A LIFE SHE'S GONNA CONTINUE TO STRIKE OUT, AHEM, *SOME* COMMENTS AROUND HERE. PROCEED.]

My 3 favorite books you ask? Have to be:
> 1960s publication of 'Candy'. Classic rural girl meets big-city story.
> 'In Cold Blood' something to warm the cockholds (get my drift?)
> Sun Tzus' little known sequel to 'The Art of War' called 'The Art of Flattus'. it provokes such light dining chat.

There you have it dearies TaTa!

[David]

Your list as amazing as your wonderful wit in your writing miss "cat in the hat lady"
I so smiled as I wrote down these books to enjoy soon. I am a huge Irving fan myself. A prayer for Owen Meany is my fav.
thanks for this.
Amazing as always

[Asthmagirl]

I had a phantom gentleman visit my blog a few weeks and leave a comment telling me that I read "shit" but somehow, in spite of that I had mastered "clear writing".

I guess I am not a candidate for reading the classics either.

[MamaMo]

I'm such a book nerd - I'm totally doing this one! Oh, and thanks for The Phantom Tollbooth recommendation - I've never heard of it and it sounds like a fantastic book.

[mommypie]

I can't believe I've never read The Phantom Tollbooth. (not TOOLbooth, like I just typed and deleted. Twice.) I may just have to get that one to save for MP a few years down the road ...

And don't listen to OK (first she makes a move for Mantle Man, and THEN over at her place, she dates my boyfriend, Web MD) ... I LOVED Walden. Fave quote: "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion." Now, how can you not like that?

[Kyddryn]

Oh, I loved Siddhartha! I've read it countless times. Not so much The Grapes of Wrath. Yawn.

Einstein's Dreams is one of my favorites - nothing like quirky physics presented in a fictional setting.

Hmm...mind if I borrow this for a future blog post?? C'mon, you knew I would...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

[Ok, Where Was I?]

You can skip right over Walden b/c it sucks. And I read it more than once, so you can count one of those times for you. That's right, you're enough of a bloggy friend that I'll hand over one tremendously boring read of a book I hate.

I remember similar feelings on Grapes of Wrath, but I get the reading and the watching of the movie all mixed up in my head. For one thing, there was about 300 pages in the beginning about a turtle on the road and I wanted to gouge my eyes out. And then there was something about the doughy stuff that was passing as food b/c they were so poor that they were taking with them, and all I could think was, Mmmmm, dough.

I think the classics are over-rated.

[MommyTime]

Kindred spirit! I LOVED *To Kill a Mockingbird* too, and I HATED with all my heart, soul, body, and fiber of my being *The Grapes of Wrath.* When I was studying for my MA exam, we had this little game where we tried to summarize a book in six words or less, in order to make it stick in our heads. *The Grapes of Wrath*? It was "dust, dust, and more dust" -- which pretty much captures plot, characters, and the level of enjoyment of the reading experience.

And yes. I'll say it. I also don't like *Bleak House* even though I teach Victorian literature and should adore it. So there.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

At the risk of scaring you away from the book, please do read Pride and Prejudice. It is my all-time favorite. Jane Austen was brilliantly funny - hilarious even, in a subtle, smart way. Not unlike you!

Also, after you read the book the ONLY version of the movie you should see, in my opinion, is the one with Colin Firth. It is long, but very true to the original story and the cast is impeccable. The most recent version in theaters and now at your local video store was horrible. (Again, my opinion, with no offense to anyone who liked it.)

After that, read Sense and Sensibility - I really think you'll like Austen's style of writing.

As for me, I haven't read a book other than a cookbook (and then, only a few pages at a time) since Big Hair and plastic bracelets all up and down the arm were the rage.

Sigh.