(Art stolen from this lady)
Okay, I get it: everything I learned in school about history is WRONG. Columbus, Balboa, Cook, Vasco da Gama, Custer -- all miscreants with God complexes, I know, I know.
Probably half the science I was taught in school is WRONG. Protons and neutrons? Not the smallest particles. Einstein's Theory of Relativity? Not yet skewered, but that's only because there are only about 17 people who understand it, and they're all busy people; that theory can stand a while longer. Dinosaurs? Cousins of Cher the birds.
The English grammar rules that were pounded into me were, apparently, WRONG, if common usage is any indicator. We can all say "where at" now without any fear of eyebrows rising. I can now use "only" in a sentence without worrying about where to put it. (I'm absolutely sure that someone out there will tell me where to put it, anyway.)
In the face of all of this disinformation filling my brain, it's really comforting to have new learning streaming in via the internet. I learn great new stuff every day. Maybe you get the same bulletins?
- Pigs have thirty minute orgasms
- The ocean liner QE2 burns a gallon of fuel for every six inches traveled
- The average person swallows eight spiders per year while sleeping
- Always wash your canned goods or you'll die a horrible death from mouse pee
I really don't need to waste any time wondering whether or not any of it is true, because there will be brand-spanking new factoids coming along any minute to take their place. My question is, right or wrong, who figures out all this stuff? Who spent part of his or her career to determine that if your poop floats, you're eating too much fat -- how was that determined, or do I really want to know? No, I don't.
If the pig orgasm guy turned his attention to the relativity theory, maybe someone could debunk it and I could stop worrying about how much Earth time has passed when I get back from my speed-of-light trip through time and space. On the other hand, time is all relative anyway, and that pig has given me an idea . . .