Two of the bloggers I read regularly -- Sarah at OK . . . Where Was I? and Hallie at The Wonderful World of Wieners -- posted risky columns this week. The subject was five people who could make you play for The Other Team.
Not sure it's really possible; in fact, it's not. I'm pretty happy with my team. Not that there's anything wrong with that . . .
I'll make a stab at it.
Here are five women, in no particular order, who could make me become a women's P.E. coach in old East Germany:
1. Gillian Anderson -- best known for walking around looking pissed off and yelling "MULDER!" every ten seconds. Moody is the new black.
2. Brooke Shields -- one of two women in the world whose eyebrows need even more deforestation than mine do (the other was Frida Kahlo).
3. Gabrielle Reece -- remember her? the 6'3" volleyball star? Try to imagine playing an intensely physical game in THAT little get-up. In sand. You DO realize I'm talking about volleyball, right?
4. Lauren Hutton -- the space between her teeth makes her seem human, which is difficult for super models. Even super models of a certain age.
5. Beyonce Knowles -- she can sing, she can dance, she can ac-- well, she can sing and dance! And she's bootylicious, because somebody has to be.
Okay, don't read too much into this. There are so many gorgeous women on TV that I can't help staring at. I just wish that I could have found a dentist, or judge, or diplomat, or author -- somebody with a career more important than dancing, singing, pouting, posing, or playing a game. But I don't suppose Jean Kirkpatrick or Gertrude Stein or Eleanor Roosevelt ever made anybody's short list.