Chroma Key And You: More Than You Ever Wanted To Not Understand

Yeah, I suppose it's time for a change.  And since change comes from within, but I'm way too lazy to do anything like that, I'll just dig through the couch for loose pocket change.  In the form of a new profile picture.

I work -- did I mention I do that?  Because I do that, sometimes -- at an advertising agency of diminutive size but of large talent and experience.  I represent mostly the LARGE portion.  Anyway, we have a chroma key wall, against which people are sometimes videotaped or photographed.  Remember the Maisie Jane's TV commercial I bored you to tears with showed you back in October?  That was all shot against this hideous green wall.  I don't know how to explain it well, so I'll do it my way.

Have you ever been watching a local newscast, and the weather guy's tie kind of disappears and becomes part of the weather map he's pretending to stand in front of?  He's really standing in front of a bilious green (sometimes electric blue) wall, just like this one.  It's called chroma key, and the idea is to use a color that doesn't appear in Nature or sensible fashion, and then you tell the camera to "ignore" it (first you have to tell the idiot weather man not to WEAR it, however).  Then you can drop in whatever image or video you want behind the person -- a weather map, election coverage graphics, or, my personal favorite a la "Whose Line Is it, Anyway?" a herd of stampeding elephants.

Anyway, the guy at our agency who represents the TALENT portion, is good at lighting and chroma key-ing.  I am neither.  So Friday as I finished up at work I thought I'd take a few self-portraits, then take them home and key out the green to a nice flattering eggshell or something.  HA!  Again, HA!  Way too hard.  Got to get the tolerance just exactly right or large portions of your hair disappear.  Also?  It would help if I had actually had the studio lights hooked up.  I turned one on but it made such a sharp shadow that there really was no point.  Some day I'll have our resident genius photograph me, but until then, here's what you're getting:



I wasn't kidding about the bilious green.  This is me trying to be something or someone more interesting.  It didn't take.



So, I cropped out all of the nasty green.  This is me trying to be blurry.  Also, sort of self-effacing and vulnerable.  NEXT.




This is me smiling my "Holy frijoles, just get this over with" smile.  This smile is known by several uncharitable names which I can't mention on a PG-rated blog.  This smile will get you through life.  So far, so good.

There you go, Bob Cleveland -- you shamed me into it; I smiled.

I still like the top one best, if I can only get rid of that green.

Comments

[faux]

mamma likey da first un

[Bob Cleveland]

The middle one is the one. It shows soul.

[Ok, Where Was I?]

You're totally cute! And no, I'm not buying the Pollyanna gig.

[Jessica Keith]

I would never have pegged you for a Pollyanna. I totally am, and that was one of my favorite movies when I was little, bad acting and all!
As for the pictures, in pic number one, you look like you should have your own fox news show. I could see that lady slamming political candidates all over the place!

[MamaMo]

blurry AND self-effacing is a good look on you - I'd never be able to pull it off! ;-)
Seriously though, I like the new profile picture. It is possible to be cheery and have a biting sense of humor, at least that's what I like to tell myself; though it requires a touch of "frijoles" to do. In all honesty, your sense of humor would totally cream my sense of humor on the playground.

[Ang]

Oh, I love the smile much better than "the sneer of what are you up to?"

[foolery]

Wow, that's interesting; I never thought of it that way. I think the problem is that I am SUCH a freaking Pollyanna in real life -- the kind of idiot who answers the phone at 3:00 a.m. as if she's been awake for hours, fresh as a daisy -- that I rather like showing my grumpy, skeptical side. I'll be nice now.

[MommyTime]

I love the new pics, actually. (Though I miss Mrs. Beasley, just a little.) The smile, however, casts a whole new tone to the entire blog. You suddenly seem like one of those friendly people who smile at me over the eggplants and make me want to say "hello" even though I've never met them. Before, you seemed like a totally tough mom who brooked no nonsense when it was time to comb out the tangles after bath time "SIT STILL!" It made how funny you were a little intimidating. But in a good way.

So now you have to decide: cheery lady or fiercely funny one?

Interestingly, I think the picture you like best conveys much of same sentiment as the Mrs. Beasley one.

Also, sorry for writing a novel. I am drinking coffee and Husband is dancing with the kids, so I might as well type drivel and revel in Sunday morning...