We Have Nothing to Fear But Franklin Roosevelt

(Image stolen from these guys)

Pioneer Woman -- Ree -- posted an excellent confession on her blog Thursday in the hope that her readers could help her deal with her fear of flying.  She encouraged her readers to give advice and offer experiences, and 15 million comments later, she's going to have a lot of reading to do.

Of course I had an opinion.  OF COURSE I shot my mouth off!  Would you expect anything less from me?  But it seemed like a decent post, too, so after fleshing it out a bit, here it is.

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Sorry Ree -- I suffer no fear of flying, so I can't help you there (HOWEVER, I avoid flying because I have a terrible fear of being annoyed).

AND

since I am the Phobia Queen in the otherwise completely UNironic, UNneurotic family of my childhood, I have something to share:  I am scared DOOKY-less over spiders.  And I live in the country.

On a farm/dairy/ranch.  Where there are more spiders per square mile than airplanes, ghosts and mass murderers put together.

In The Spider Belt.

And I'm the only person I know who has had a black widow on her NECK, fer cryin' out loud in a bucket.

BUT

the fear of passing my irrationalities on to my already GROSSLY dramatic daughters was bigger than my arachniphobia.  So I decided NEVER to tell them of my fear.  On pain of death and/or really nasty noogies, no one I know is allowed to tell my daughters that Mommy is scared to death of spiders (and preying manti, and heights, and cars in parking lots, and . . .)

SO

I actually PICK UP daddy longlegs and calmly carry them outside and set them free.  I'm a living breathing Fear Factor episode, without the barfing.  My daughters are squeamish and shrieky, but I say, "Pipe down!  Imagine how scared THIS little guy is.  Isn't he cute?"  And I hide the heeby-jeebies and they really aren't too bad.

SO

I have a house full of fat, contented spiders, daughters who scream and THEN say, "Awwwww, isn't he cute?  DON'T KILL IT, DADDY!" and I'm gaining ground on their phobias as well as my own.

After I decided to approach it this way I read somewhere that modeling the behavior you want -- ACTING! thankyouverymuch -- is a healthy way to learn to feel more in control.  Whatever.  It's helping.


(Original photo stolen from this guy)

I hope this helps you, Ree, and I hope that you don't end up with a house full of spiders . . . or airplanes.

Comments

[Jessica Keith]

I'm with MommyTime. My freak out bug is roaches, too. Not good since I live in a neighborhood full of pine trees, and back up to a pasture lined by pine trees. Did I mention pine needles are wood roaches (the flying ones) favorite place to be? Yuck. We have to get our house sprayed full of chemicals as a preventative. Gotta love the South.

[Hallie]

Still hate the spiders but not holding it against you - come check out my blog!

Hallie

[Ang]

Would you please come visit? With all possible neurosis possible you are so impossibly sane.
Please share the disease. I only need you for... oh say 3 months, give or take.

[Asthmagirl]

I can do spiders... they aren't my favorite, but everyone else in my house is scared spitless of them. I don't do catch and release anymore except with salmon. If it's in my house, it's fair game.
I don't think I'll ever be able to face my moths like you do your spiders though. I really envy your ability to overcome your fears.
I think if I were to touch a moth I would implode like a black hole and swallow all life forms in my vicinity (except the moth, blech).

[Foolery]

Oh, I forgot -- hi Gubby.

[Foolery]

NEVER! Curse you, vile wretch, for mentioning that name on this site!

[jeff in Idaho]

Today spiders. Tomorrow ear buds?

[Foolery]

Editor's Note: In Snorpht's world, HH is Happy Hour -- and in MY world, it's more a state of mind than a GMT thing. Crack one open, Miss MommyTime.

AARRGGHH -- SCORPIONS?! I KNEW there was a reasons I don't go visit my brother in the desert, Snorpht! He's never mentioned them.

[Snorpht ExterminatorPoot]

@:55 is the tail end of HH there MommyT.

My hate here is scorpions. Couple times a year one crawls in under the door.

Sarah, Check G. Gordens book, theres' a whole recipe chapter.

And to all the ChickiePoos out there:
Of course I'm buying, and I'll pay for the room too!

[MommyTime]

See, I think the bugs you really really really really really hate depend on where you live. If you live on a country ranch, they are probably spiders. If you live where Sarah is OK does, the "bugs" are mice. If you grew up where I did, outside Atlanta, they are roaches. And not those puny little ones they grow in New York City either. I'm talking 3" long. And shiny black. And so fat they make a sickening squ-crunch when you stomp them. And actually, I can even deal with those when you put them next to the 3" long dark-honey colored ones THAT FLY. Those guys are the worst because when you back them into a corner, they fly out of it right at you and scramble around in your hair. I get chills just thinking about it.

So while the desensitizing does work, isn't it ironic that it only works because the place you live made you sensitive in the first place? Or maybe that's not exactly irony. But it's something all cosmic and weird. Apparently I need a drink too. Does 2:55 count as cocktail hour yet?

[Sarah is Ok]

So I'm guessing you all are asleep by now if you started drinking at 5:15 AM. I had a catch and release policy in my house until this fall. We had the foundation worked on (i.e., completely torn out in the back and re-poured), and it never occurred to me that about 4,000 mice would come in by the bus load when it was nothing but a sheet of plastic. I went down there, did laundry, got food out of the freezer. Never even thought about mice. And then they poured the new wall and sealed them all in. Suddenly they popped up at random times. One even came on to my desk while I was working (needless to say, that was plenty excuse to stop working). I could hardly walk on my floor for fear of seeing one. I hate them. I really do. And I wanted them gone. So I'm no longer the all-critter loving hippy I used to be. I'm a violent killer. What were we talking about?

[Foolery]

I tend not to model my behavior after G. Gordon Liddy, but it's a point well taken, Snorphty. That's why I pick up little tiny spiders, fighting the ookies the whole way out to the yard. Working on it.

And so you know, Hallie, I had goosebumps the WHOLE time I wrote this. Choosing the pictures made me a little bit nauseous, too. But where I live we have SO many spiders you can't even believe it, so it's like exposure therapy. I am somewhat desensitized to them by sheer volume.

But I'm definitely not anywhere close to your level of phobia. I'll join you in that drink if Snorpht is still buying!

[SpiderMan Snorpht]

G. Gorden Liddy was afraid of rats till he caught, cookled and ate one.

Not suggesting what to do Laurie, just givin ya something to think about.

O, and Hallie...... I'm buying.

[24Crayons]

Yes, well a house full of airplanes would be quite interesting to see, and freaky.

I'm FREAKED about spiders too, my husband however is not at all afraid. Eventually my son got over his fear and picks them up to take them out too.

THIS is why I refuse to live in an anymore rural area than I already do. I also dread ticks. They scare the crap out of me because I can't imagine something more terrifying than finding out at some place on your body, unbeknown to you, this thing burrowed its way into your skin and is sucking your blood. It could have lime disease, or just be trying to get a meal, who knows? Either way you didn't notice it burrowing into your flesh, which is why its so *shiver* upsetting to me to even contemplate!

[Hallie]

First of all, I am MAD at you for including pics of spiders. You are obviously NOT nearly as phobic as you say you are. I can't even look at pics without getting totally freaked out. Having just seen your pics, I am now furiously looking around my office for any 8 legged nightmares.

I honestly go running out of here and cower in the hall until someone takes pity on me and comes and kill...NO FREAKIN CATCH AND RELEASE POLICY IN MY WORLD - I want to see guts - smooshed spiders are the only spiders I want to see near me.

I think I'm hyperventilating.

Ree's fear is also my fear. And sharks.I actually wrote about it once.

I totally expect to die someday in a plane crash, that went down cuz the plane was overtaken by killer tarantulas and then crash in a sea full of blood thirsty, man eating great white sharks.

I need a drink...
Hallie