Have you seen this yet? Get some eye drops, and maybe some Tums, 'cause this one's gonna hurt. Excerpted from this Reuters article (the notations in red are mine, all mine, baby):
Spears' mother plans parenting book
By Dana Ford
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - As lawyers for Britney Spears and her ex-husband fought a court battle over custody of their two young sons [the battle may be OVER their two young sons, but it’s FOR show], a publisher said on Friday that the pop star's mother is writing a book about parenting.
[Get up, go to the bathroom, throw up a little, have a shot of whiskey, kick a puppy – whatever it takes to suspend disbelief long enough to read the next paragraph]
Religious publisher Thomas Nelson said it will publish "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World," by Lynne Spears. Nelson spokesman Curt Harding [how’d you like to have THIS guy’s job today?] said the book, to be out next spring, will be about Lynne Spears' raising three children and will have a religious element [yeah, and Baghdad has QUITE a religious element, but it doesn’t make it wholesome, and I wouldn’t wanna go there].
Feel free to read the rest by your lonesomes. I have to go throw up a little.
"Gosh, y'all. Like, you know my momma was be best momma. Like, gosh, she totally helped me pick out those cute little catholic school girl outfits when I was fourteen - you remember the ones? The boys were like, "You sure are pretty", and my momma was like, "That will be one million dollars, please". And then we'd go to Dairy Queen and we'd buy, like, 1000 blizzards 'cause we was rich, y'all."
- an excerpt from Brittney Spears forward to her mother's upcoming book.
Posted by: Beta mom | November 10, 2007 at 04:48 AM
Mmmmmmmm Bumma.
Could be worse though. SpongeBob gets 'The Suds'.
So, do you guys have Halloween up der in Orland? And what do you do? Just keep going up to your own front door and give yourself candy? I mean just how much Halloween Opportunity is there on County rd O"?
Hope your better soon so I can get back to bantering yer drawers off sum mo.
Posted by: Snorpht SympatheticPoot | November 01, 2007 at 06:21 AM
Came down with the crud Monday, Poots. Went to bed at 6:00 last in my jeans and sweater and socks -- didn't care. I'm checking in tonight, but I haven't had much strength (much less bantering skill).
Posted by: foolery | October 31, 2007 at 08:25 PM
Hey-Zeus!
Fer Cripes Sakes it be slow around here wit oot der Shnorphtinator.
Hey JuggyJane! Talk to me. Tell me what a ManPig I am. Go on, you know you want to. Geeeeeeeeeeezzz. Come on, haw bout we (I mean all you ChickiePoos and me, leaving all these MarginalMaleMundos to wring out their own limp dishrags) start a rousing game of Truth or Dare?
We could play 'zip code lottery bang bang'.
AND
We could graduate to 'Adult Show and Tell' and then finish out with 'Where'd the DoggyPoot hide his bone'?
Come'on ChickiePoos, wheres the FUN?
Posted by: Snorpht (Social Directer) FingerPoot | October 31, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Swami this is great in a bassackward way. Maybe lots of people will buy it and do the opposite of whatever her mother's advice is. I'm still wondering why Brittney cut her hair, but I'm not wondering too much. I can understand the umbrella car incident that CNN deemed worthy. I've often ran up to a car in the parking lot and just beat the hay hay out of it. Sometimes when a car gets smart, you have to. haha.
Love
Jane
Posted by: Juggernaut Jane | October 27, 2007 at 07:24 PM
Oh.my.gosh. You've gotta be kidding me. I don't even know what else to say...
The worst thing is, lots of people will actually buy the book.
Posted by: Jeff Keith | October 27, 2007 at 05:16 PM
Good thing the announcement was made just before Halloween, which also has a religious element.
Posted by: Mantel Man | October 27, 2007 at 08:24 AM
It's okay, Anthony -- the irony would be COMPLETELY lost on that dingbat, anyhow.
Posted by: foolery | October 26, 2007 at 08:54 PM
The title itself is hilarious.
Spears' mother to write a parenting book or How to raise your children to be dysfunctional
or How to destroy your childs psyche so that they can never adequately function in life
or
How to raise your daughters to marry the right man
or How to teach your kids to make the right decisions in life
I could go on but mercifully I'll stop now.
Posted by: Anthony | October 26, 2007 at 05:45 PM