The Curse of Beach Baby in D

I was given a gift at birth which I have wasted, mostly. I have a very good ear -- for music, and accents, and pronunciations. While I do enjoy some aspects of my gift, especially mimicry, I was never interested enough to do the hard work necessary to develop my gift into even a minor talent.

My mother has perfect pitch. If she hears a note she can tell you whether it's an A flat or an F sharp. I have a lesser version of her gift, called relative pitch. I can hear a G natural in my mind at any time, and I use it as my touchstone, to determine other notes in relation to my G. Every once in a while I think I can identify a note other than G, and I'm right only about a third of the time.

The upside of such gifts includes the ability to tune guitars easily, which I used to do with ease. If you have a good ear and you happen to be a singer, I suppose you can keep yourself in tune.

The downside of a good ear is not often discussed, but Mom and I know it well. Imagine you're in a room full of people listening to Natalie Merchant, or post-retirement Frank Sinatra. Look around the room as Frank stretches lazily to reach a high note he used to hit with ease -- people may be singing along, tapping their toes, lost in a reverie. Not Mom and me. We're cringing in pain. I steal a glance at Mom, and she's suffering. "Pull it up, Frank!" I'm screaming in my brain.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

Natalie Merchant is even worse -- she maintains a constant flatness that is rare even by today's low standards. I can't listen to her for longer than a couple of minutes.

(Photo stolen from this site)

Friday morning I was getting ready for work, listening to the various inanities of the morning news. As I brushed my teeth just around the corner from the television, I heard a Best Foods Mayonnaise commercial which used a jaunty pop instrumental behind the voice over. "That sounds like 'Beach Baby,'" I thought, annoyed that I knew that song in the first place. Listening again, I realized that the descending chords may indeed have been a rip-off of that awful pop song from -- was it the late 70s? trying to sound like the mid-60s? -- but "Beach Baby" ripped it off from Pachelbel's Canon in D first. I went to the piano and played the familiar descending chords, bile rising in my gullet.

Chas walked up just then, not saying anything, but shooting me a "what are you doing NOW" look. I played the familiar chords for him, and said, "Pachelbel's Canon, right?" Then I played it again and sang along with it, "Do you remember back in old L.A., oh-oh-oh . . ." GROAN.  Chas shook his head and walked away.  I know he thinks his wife is a nut job.

There's a certain smug satisfaction in hearing the "bones" of a song, and realizing where you heard it first (whether or not the songwriter even knew he was heavily borrowing). But most of the time it's a burden. From the physical discomfort I feel when Frank Sinatra or Barbra Streisand
can't . . .
quite . . .
make . . .
that high note, to the big fat bummer of forever hearing "Beach Baby" in my mind as a bride glides down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon, sometimes a gift is not a gift, it's a curse.

Here's a sample of "Beach Baby" so now you'll share my curse, too.

"Beach Baby" by First Class (you've been warned)

Comments

[Yummy Mommy]

I've been to Texas- twice. Does that count for anything???

[Anthony]

I always thought Papa Doo Run Run did Beach Baby. Either way they were both Beach Boy wannabies.

Speaking of which maybe you and Brian can get together and talk about the difference between a B major and a Cb major chord ;)

It is quite common for rock songs to "steal" from classical songs. They can do this because those old songs are not copywrited so they are public domain.

Also Chord progressions cannot be copywriten because they are so common and are the building blocks of any song, only melodies can be copywritten.

I'm quite sure the progressions in Beach Baby were accidental and in no way were an illusion to a true classic of the ages.

[Jessica K]

Ugh.

[Snorpht Climbs Mountians As Well.]

Rite-O there Jessie. I do got me a hankering to saddle up and do a little siteseeing down there in TeeHas. HeeHawwwwwwww!

Maybe ya'll can get together and we can see the Grand TEETons at the same time.

And LauFoo. That IS a very nice new pic. Very self absorbed pose. Kind of like you were deep in though, sittin on the Kan and then some body snuk up with a camera, wung open the door and snapped your picure.

[Jessica K]

I just listened to Beach Baby, and I gotta tell you I didn't hear what you did! Still, I coulda made it my whole life without hearing that song!
Lookin' hot in the new pic, btw!
And I think you should put out a restraining order on Snorpht. This Texas thing is making him crazy! =P

[foolery]

I'm sitting on Texas at the moment.

[Snorpht]

I'm thinking about.......................................... Texas.

[foolery]

Happen to like Frank Sinatra, flat and all. Wouldn't matter to me one bit which way N.M. swings -- I can't listen to her. Rather grumpy today, eh, Snorphty? Sand in yer britches?

[Snorpht, the 'other' White Meat]

Frank sux. What a moron wannabe wop.
He can EAT! ME!
But never mind about that Natalie Merchant. You could never get her offa the carpet long enough. Donchyathink?